Free End of East, The by Jen Sookfong Lee Page A

you.” Matt rolled over and looked me in the face, his blue eyes blinding. He kissed my forehead. “But you have to leave, don’t you?”
    I opened my mouth to say, No, I don’t. I could stay here forever . But then I closed my lips tight and swallowed. Through the crack in the blinds, I could see the hazy sun poking its way through the smog. The atmosphere in the room was heavy with the smell of our bodies, but I knew the air wouldn’t be much better outside. I shut my eyes and imagined rain.

    I shake my head, trying to empty it of all thoughts not related to Penny’s wedding. Walking back into the ballroom, I weave my way through the tightly packed tables of mostly drunk middle-aged Chinese couples. The best man has started his toast to my sister, who sits with her arm around our mother.
    “He’s a lucky guy, folks. Doesn’t she look beautiful tonight?”
    Penny’s face is a deep red, and she giggles into her new husband’s shoulder. My mother laughs loudly. The theatre of marriage, I think , makes everyone get along. I make it to the bar and sit heavily on a stool, facing away from the head table, and rearrange the lavender layers of my bridesmaid dress. I order a double gin and tonic.
    The bartender passes me my drink and then leans with his elbows on the bar. “So, how do you know the happy couple? From the look on your face, I’d say you hardly know them at all or you know them too well.”
    I laugh and look up at his face. Blue eyes, red, purposely messy hair. Smooth, white skin, so pale he’s almost blue. Sly smile.
    “The bride is my sister, so I guess I know them too well. See that big white dress? Well, everyone thinks she’s pregnant, but no one wants to ask her.”
    “Ah, you’re the black sheep, aren’t you? That’s a good thing, because I don’t think I could talk to anyone who would voluntarily wear this dress.” He touches the ruffle on my sleeve. “Listen, I saw you standing outside just now and you didn’t look very happy. I think you need some fun.”
    His eyes glimmer in the dim; the tea lights on the bar cast moving shadows on his face. He seems not quite there, a phantom bartender on a dark and stormy night. The noise of
the room disappears, and it’s just him and me, lit from below by candles.
    “I get off shift in ten minutes. I think you and I should take a little walk and get a drink somewhere.”
    As I walk out of the cloakroom with my jacket and purse, Jackie, dragging her sniffling son along with one hand, stops me. “Where are you going? You have to come back in time for the bouquet toss, especially now that you’re the only single sister left.”
    “I’m just going out to grab some gum.”
    “Oh good. You don’t want to miss the cake cutting either. All right , Tyler, I know you have to pee. Let’s go, then.”
    As Jackie turns toward the hallway, her carefully set hair sitting in unmoving curls on the top of her head, she touches my shoulder. “Penny just told me this morning how happy she is you’re living with Mom right now. So, thanks.”
    I look at her narrow face and stiffly sprayed hair. I shrug. “I had nothing else to do,” I mutter.
    At the exit from the ballroom, I turn around. My sisters move quickly, like sparrows, quivering, grouping together and then moving apart. My mother stands behind Wendy, her nose on level with my sister’s straight shoulders. I see her move as if to touch her, pick a piece of dust off her dress, but then my mother thinks better of it and lets her hand fall to her side. She turns and looks at me, sees my jacket and purse and then turns away again. If she knows I’m leaving, she isn’t asking any questions.
    Fifteen minutes later, I’m in the bar down the street, crushed up against strangers in a sweaty, boozy crowd. He shouts over the noise and orders a double gin and tonic for me before looking me in the eye. “I hope this isn’t weird for you.”
His head is bent over, and his breath is hot on my ear. “Because