Free Edward's Dilemma by Paul Adan

this?  I can’t take it anymore.  He began to cry.
    As he lay on his bed, sobbing, memories of his parents and siblings flooded his mind.  Although Edward truly loved each and every one of them, he hadn’t told any of his family members that he was in jail.  Surprisingly, when he was booked-in, he said he wasn’t interested in bail .  “ What a mistake that was,” he mumbled to himself.  He pondered his motivations, even though at one time it had all been very clear.  Why was that?   Was I embarrassed – or proud?  Did I not want to burden them, and impose on them a financial obligation?  Did I think I’d only be in jail for a few days, so why bother?  Heck, right now I’d pay any amount of money to get out of here.
    Dinner was served, but Edward wasn’t very hungry.  His misery grew and his depression deepened as he sat there on his bed, staring at the slop he’d been given to eat.  He did taste it, at one point, but it had already gotten cold.
     
     
    THIS WASN’T the first meal that Edward had skipped – and people were beginning to notice.  Several days earlier, one of the COs had asked him why he hadn’t eaten his lunch.  And then, more recently, another CO had asked him about his eating habits.  This second CO had also asked Edward if he’d like to speak to a Mental Health Professional, or MHP.  At the time, Edward had declined the offer – but the CO must have contacted Mental Health, anyway, because an MHP showed up at his cell door just yesterday.
    Edward didn’t have much to say to the MHP.  Mostly, the guy had asked Edward how he was doing, whether he’d spoken to his family, and why he wasn’t eating and taking care of his body.  Somewhere in the conversation, the MHP had also asked him whether or not he was feeling depressed.  When Edward had replied that he was, the MHP said he’d make arrangements for him to see a psychiatrist.  He’d also see about getting Edward started on an antidepressant medication.  This seemed agreeable to Edward.  After giving him a word of encouragement, the MHP had left.
     
     
    PRESENTLY, AFTER the dinner trays were picked up, Edward was given his daily allotment of one hour out of his cell.  On several occasions already, he had taken advantage of this time to shower and stretch his legs.  Today, however, Edward decided he didn’t want to leave his cell.  Instead, he just curled up on his bed, and covered his head with the blanket.
    Sleep did not come easily for Edward that night, but it did eventually take hold.  Suddenly, in an instant, he was transported from his dreary cell to the grand cinema of his dreams.  Once again, he inhabited the world of bright colors, and laughter, and good smells. But something was different:  His dreams were changing.  They were darker – foreboding – even frightening.
     
    ♦   ♦   ♦
     
    HE HAD always enjoyed early autumn, and today was a jewel of a day.  The weather was dry and warm, but some of the trees were already beginning to turn colors.  A puff of wind stirred a few fallen dry leaves, causing them to casually skid across the driveway.   In the front yard his mother was filling the bird feeder with seed, while in the distance a yellow school bus remained at a standstill.  Five or six kids were dispersing from the drop-off point.
    Edward got out of the car, and approached his house.  As he did, he noticed some movement overhead – and instinctively he looked up.  High above, in the clear blue sky, he spotted a flock of geese flying south in their characteristic “V” formation.  Their cackling calls were loud and distinct, and could be easily heard over the ground-level sounds.  It was all too perfect, and Edward loved it.
    That evening, during dinner time, it was obvious that his mother had outdone herself.  For some reason, the spread of food on the table was exceptionally bountiful.  There was lasagna, and green beans, and fruit salad, and jello, and green salad,