managed to lose one
stubborn, flighty person who had the knack of
screwing things up for both of us. After the call, I
flopped back into my bed, ready to pull my covers
over my head and disappear. I hated that I felt so
responsible for Archer. He’d always been the fun
to my serious, the social to my quiet. It’s what
made people still love him even when he was
being pissy and difficult. I just wished he could
temper that fun with a little growing up.
I did manage to sleep for another hour or two.
I wasn’t worried about Arch per se. He’d taken off
for fun times with a friend enough that I wasn’t
going to freak out if he didn’t show up. I wasn’t
happy about the bills, though, or the fact that he
was probably going to get fired from yet another
job. But it wasn’t enough to keep me from sleep.
Not when I’d been up all night editing photo shoot
proofs that I needed to get to the client as soon as
possible.
Must’ve been fate that, when I did wake, it
was to my phone ringing incessantly. And it was
Mom calling. I hadn’t been so happy to see her
name on my caller ID since we’d first moved away
and I’d been feeling homesick.
“Hey, Ma.” My voice was gravelly from
sleep.
“Hi, sweetie. I didn’t wake you, did I?” She
still knew me so well. I’d spent a lot of time with
my parents, growing up. Other kids had always
seemed like the wrong fit.
“It’s okay. I need to get up anyway. I didn’t
mean to sleep this long, but I was up late working
on a photo set.”
“Oh, what for?”
I’d never admitted to my mom what I did. The
woman taught kindergarten, for Christ’s sake. I
was pretty sure her son shooting pictures of
women’s naked tits didn’t fit into the world view
of someone who wore puffy-paint sweatshirts and
baked pies on the weekends.
“Just a magazine, Ma. Nothing big.”
“I wish you’d send me some of the pictures
you take, honey. I never have anything to show my
friends, and you’re so talented.”
“I will, Mom.” When I have something I can
show. “Hey, listen, I have to talk to you about
something.” I felt like I was cheating somehow,
asking Mom for help with Archer. I just didn’t
know how to get through to him.
“What’s up, hon?”
“It’s Arch. I found a bunch of bills
accidentally today. He’s maxed out a bunch of
credit cards.”
My mom huffed into the phone. I knew that
sound. She loved Archer just as much as the rest of
us, but he’d been difficult at times when we were
kids. My mom had her frustrations with him.
“Have you said anything to your brother?”
“No.” I didn’t want to. “I can’t really say
anything without him knowing I was looking in his
room. I mean, I was just in there because his boss
called, looking for him.”
“He’s skipping work again?”
“Yeah.” I hated the idea of being a tattletale. I
just knew Archer needed help. “I want to help him,
Ma. I always feel like such a nag, though. We’re
supposed to be brothers. I’m not his warden.”
“Then don’t be, baby. You need to live your
own life. You can’t be in charge of your brother
anymore.”
“I wish he’d move home.” Then I could move
on and not worry about him constantly.
“We both know that will never happen.”
“Yeah. It won’t.” I sighed into the phone,
feeling every one of my twenty-six years weighing
down on me like they were a hundred.
“No more Archer. What’s happening with
you? Have you seen anyone since you and Charles
broke up?”
“I ran into this guy—” I realized it would
sound crazy. I’ve seen him twice, but both times I
froze, and I’ve still not managed to talk to him.
Because I’m an idiot.
“And?”
“And nothing yet. I didn’t get his number. But
I think he lives around here. I’ve seen him twice.”
“And do you think he’s… you know?
Interested?”
I laughed. That was mom’s way of checking
my gaydar. “Yeah, Mom. Pretty