Free Council of Blades by Paul Kidd

embassy brought for Prince Mannicci-'The Sea Goddess Rising From the Waves.' Not that you can have seen it yet; it's still at the embassy. But it's ever so good!"
    Crawling painfully out of the rubble of unbound books, Miliana slapped down her skirts and sourly tried to snatch back some of her dignity.
    "So, you're Lorenzo." The name almost seemed to ring a bell. "Very pleased to meet you, I'm sure."
    "Oh-my pleasure! No really-I mean, I've seen you about the palace. You must work here." The boy tried to clamber his way up from the floor. "What do you call your-self?"
    "Angry."
    "Angry?" The young man screwed up his face in puz-zlement, then suddenly paled as two and two made four. "Oh-oh angry. Oh, I am so sorry! So-so very…"
    The boy made an attempt at dusting off Miliana's pos-terior, slapping her backside in a manner which made the girl peer down in alarm.
    A big, black charcoal handprint now marred her dress-a handprint placed in a manner that would make Lady Ulia scream for the nearest headsman.
    The corridor floor trembled; Ulia herself could be heard approaching the library door. Miliana leapt to her feet, slammed shut her "noise box" and jammed the portal back in place. As she surveyed the mess of fallen books, young man and drawings all about the carpet, a hunted look possessed her face.
    Alone in a room with a man-and with his handprints all over her rump! Miliana planted her back against the door and let her breast heave in utter panic.
    "Miliaaaa-naaaaaa! Miliana, whatever was that noise?"
    Lady Ulia's voice struck fear straight into Lorenzo's soul. The boy dove beneath a table and scuttled about the floor on all fours like a demented rat looking for its hole. Miliana heard footsteps approaching from the corridor and nearly expired from fright.
    "The chimney! Take the books and hide inside the chimney!"
    "Eeerk!" Lorenzo peered up into the chimney in dis-may. "There's a half-eaten pickled eel in here!"
    "Just do it! Quickly!"
    Lorenzo burrowed out of sight; Miliana took a calming breath, tried to still her pulse, and briskly opened up the library door. She managed to intercept Lady Ulia with a false, befuddled smile.
    "Um… hello…"
    "Miliana, I require nothing more of you than dili-gent-nay, unceasing effort!" Lady Ulia bowled Miliana aside and peered suspiciously about the room. "What, pray tell, is that lumpen object moving about in the fire-place?"
    Young Lorenzo's backside could be seen jammed like an unseemly cork into the bottom of the chimney.
    With a squawk, the youth suddenly lost purchase and fell down in the cinders, almost immediately drowning beneath a cascade of books and scrolls.
    "Oh… oh he's just…" Miliana blinked behind the blank shield of her spectacles, searching for a suitable set of words. "The cleaner! He's th-the library cleaner. He cleans the books… you know, keeps the pages all clear and sparkling."
    "Sparkling!" Ulia's voice roared, rattling the plaster-work. "The boy's nothing but a mass of soot!"
    Miliana crammed her backside against a wall, hiding the telltale handprint on her rear.
    "Charcoal absorbs foul smells, Ulia. 'Tis a well-known fact."
    "Is it? Is it indeed?" Ulia squared her shoulders and narrowed down her eyes. "Cleaner or no cleaner, his pres-ence serves as a distraction. And I must say that I find it most unsuitable for you to be sharing a room alone with a male commoner." Ulia pulled a quizzing glass from her cleavage and used it to examine the young man as though he were a particularly noisome species of bug. "Goodness-why does he smell of eels?"
    "I have no idea, milady."
    "Hmmmmph." Ulia sank her lens back into its cav-ernous hiding place. "Well, as long as he's here, have him search the wainscoting; a large green furry thing has just made off with a dried hogfish from the kitchen shelf. The vermin in this palace are becoming quite unforgivable!"
    Ulia hitched up her skirts, tried to walk through the door and managed to get her hat jammed in the door-frame.