Free Floors: by Patrick Carman

entertaining. But it made an awful racket, and Theodore Bump would surely report Leo to Ms. Sparks. Still, how could he see them standing there, heads bowed, silently staring at the floor, without turning them on? He promised himself he would return someday soon when Mr. Bump was out for a walk and watch the robots rumble. Maybe he’d even bring Remi.
    In Merganzer’s absence, there was one particular robot that was causing Mr. Bump a lot of problems. His name was Blop. Blop’s job was “keeping company and making conversation,” which meant he was programmed to talk with guests in the room and make them feel at home. Unfortunately for Blop, Theodore Bump was
never
in the mood for conversation. In fact, Theodore Bump was so antisocial that it had begun frying Blop’s circuitry. The more Theodore didn’t talk to Blop, the more Blop felt he
needed
to talk. Sometimes he would go on and on and on about things no one wanted to talk about. He’d gone from being an interesting companion to an annoying chatterbox.
    Leo arrived at the door to the bathroom, the loud noise echoing inside. He opened the door and there was Blop, standing in the bathtub, banging his head over andover again on the porcelain. Blop was a small robot, about the size of a mug for hot chocolate. He was mostly silver, with large green eyes, and his metal mouth looked like it was made to eat nickels and quarters.
    When Blop saw that Leo had come into the bathroom, he rolled back and forth enthusiastically on his wheels.
    “Mr. Bump, is that you?”
    “No, it’s me, Leo.”
    Leo knelt down and laid his arms along the tub, setting his chin down on his hands as he stared at Blop. One thing was clear to Leo as he looked at the shiny silver robot in the tub: Mr. Bump wasn’t a violent man, for if he were, he would have picked Blop up and dropped him out the window long ago.
    “Oh, Blop,” said Leo. “You really must stop bothering Mr. Bump. You know how it upsets him.”
    “Very good to see you, sir,” said Blop in his tiny, tinny voice. “You’re looking excellent as usual. Tip-top.”
    The problem with Blop — besides the fact that he really
would not
stop talking — was that he was a sneaky little robot.
    “Will you get me out of the tub?” he requested. “There’s work to be done.”
    “You know he won’t talk to you,” said Leo. It was like trying to reason with an unreasonable child, he knew, but he had to try.
    “He’ll come around,” said Blop. “I’m going to try Shakespeare.”
    “I could leave you in there and let your batteries run dry,” Leo pointed out.
    “Oh, you don’t want to do that. My alarm will go off.”
    Merganzer had rigged Blop with a terrible alarm that would sound throughout the entire building if he got within five percent of a dead battery. It had only happened once, and Ms. Sparks had nearly lost her marbles, screaming at everyone for days after. Even Merganzer had said it was something to be avoided at all costs.
    “Besides,” said Blop, “I’m solar powered, as you know, and efficient. You’d have to leave me here in the tub for three days, two hours, twelve minutes, and nine seconds in order to hear the alarm.”
    Blop started carrying on about solar power and alternative energy and how he and Merganzer had talked at length about putting wind turbines on the roof but that he worried for the ducks … and on and on, until Leo thought he might leave Blop where he was and shut the door.
    Instead, Leo picked him up and placed him in his tool bag.
    “Might I see Mr. Bump now?” asked Blop. “I’d like to begin with the sonnets, which I believe he’ll really enjoy.”
    Leo knew better than to engage Blop in conversation if he didn’t need to. He kept walking until he reached the front door.
    “I’ll take him for a walk,” he said to Mr. Bump.
    “Don’t bring him back until you hit Friday at least. Anything less would be a disappointment.”
    Theodore Bump didn’t look up from his computer