Free Living in Sin (Living In…) by Jackie Ashenden

with Anita Howard.
    Maybe she shouldn’t have been poking around in his bookshelves, but then how was she to know that particular book was sensitive? People didn’t usually mind others looking at their books in any case. He’d kept her waiting too, so she’d had to do something.
    Regardless of her own justifications, however, she’d overstepped somehow and had screwed up the atmosphere between them. Instead of the warm, sensuality of the week before, there was now a chill and hard edges, hardly conducive to seduction.
    Refusing to give in to disappointment, Lily slipped off her coat and slung it over the back of the couch. Then she went to her armchair and sat down. She felt cold but tried not to show it, picking up her scotch and taking a healthy swallow in the hope the burn of the alcohol would help. Her head was still spinning from the revelations he’d told her.
    A rent boy. She hadn’t known his background but she’d wondered about it many times. Wondered why the beautiful, poised Anita kept bringing this rough, uneducated Maori guy around for dinner. In her naivety she’d imagined they were friends or maybe he was her adopted son or…something.
    But no. She’d found him on the streets. What kind of life had he had that made him turn to prostitution? A shitty one clearly. Not at all like the world of privilege she’d been brought up in. No, her father didn’t pay much attention to her these days but he had once. And at least she had a roof over her head and food to eat. A warm bed to sleep in.
    Where had Kahu grown up? How had he ended up doing what he’d done?
    Across from her, Kahu sat in his usual sprawling posture, his legs outstretched. He was in jeans again today and a dark purple shirt that contrasted beautifully with his black hair and smooth, brown skin. So gorgeous.
    She’d been looking forward to this all week, unable to concentrate on much beyond what her next move would be. It had wreaked havoc with her dancing lessons, her concentration shot to hell. Her teacher had been most unhappy with her. But she’d assured herself it would all be worth it when she got here. Last Monday he’d let slip the fact that he was interested and she was going to build on that.
    Except then she’d gotten here and found the room cold and empty, the fire unlit, Kahu not there. Disappointment had gripped her, heavy and…painful.
    “What’s the matter, ballerina?” he said, his voice low and rough. “Don’t like the idea of playing with a guy who used to suck rich men’s cocks for money?”
    He was being deliberately provocative, she knew that about him now. Perhaps it was how he defended himself, how he kept people at a distance. And maybe that worked on some people. Not her, that was for damn sure.
    Lily leaned back in her chair like he was doing and put one leg over the arm of it, her foot dangling. Then she lifted her tumbler of scotch and swirled the liquid around inside it, giving him a considering look over the rim of the glass. “I don’t know,” she said calmly. “Did you like sucking rich men’s cocks?”
    Firelight flickered over the hard planes and angles of his face. Heavy, dark brows. Proud, straight nose. Sculpted cheekbones. Lines etched into his skin around his eyes and mouth. Silver in his thick, black hair.
    The face of a man who’d seen lots of things. Done lots of things. Who’d experienced the world in all its darkness.
    “That depended on the man,” he said at last. “And how much they paid me.” He paused. “But on the whole, I prefer pussy.”
    The word jolted her, made her blush. Which was stupid because it wasn’t like she hadn’t heard it before. It was just the way he said it in that rough, gravelly voice of his, making it sound so dirty. So completely sexual.
    “That’s good,” she said, trying to ignore the catch in her own voice. “It would make this seduction a bit more difficult, seeing as how I don’t own a cock.”
    “It’s a moot point regardless of