Free I Won't Give Up by Sophie Monroe

than I ever thought possible. He brought his mouth to mine and slowly entered, rocking in and out and we made love. I thought Jack and I made love but this was a whole other level of intimacy I felt like he was marking my soul . He kept eye contact the entire time, cradling me in his arms, sweetly kissing all over my face bringing me over the edge, over and over again . Just the look in his eyes was almost too much, I felt him stiffen and find his release, he kissed me deeply making me climax one more time. It was so much more than I thought it could ever be. He pulled me clo se placing my head on his chest. I listened to the r h yth m o f his heart come back to normal. W e fell asleep like that.
    When I woke we were still cuddling. I was wrapped in Cooper, he always smells amazing. I look ed up at his face, his pouty lips slightly parted, his long eyelashes fanning on to his cheeks, his hair tousled and looking seriously sexy. I kissed his lips lightly thinking back to last night , it was truly amazing , literally perfect. The two of us fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and our bodies were so in sync , I was still in awe. I laid my head back on chest listening to his breathing and heartbeat, content and happy without the use any substances. Then reality had to rear its ugly head.
    “I love you.” He murmured still deep in sleep. Over the summer I’d read a lot of books, one was a book full of quotes and this one was had a quote from Neil Gaiman about love, real love not the stuff you read about in fairytales .

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. Its eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
    His little nocturnal admission made me freak out. Could I love him like he deserved ? I realize d d espite my happiness and everything else he had to offer I’m just not ready for yet , it wouldn’t be fair to either of us . I’d only be able to give him half of my heart at best and he deserved more than I could offer. I wasn’t ready to love again nor was I ready for a glass splinter . The thought was already tear ing me up . When he woke up I pretended everything was fine , we showered, together, then headed to the diner for breakfast before taking the long ride home.
    “I don’t know why you changed your mind but that was the best night of my life.” Cooper said beaming . I’d never seen him this happy . I was not looking forward to watching his smile fade away so I just shrugged my shoulders, plastered on a fake smile and nodded . Shit, this is going to kill him. The n the internal struggle started m aybe I could try, that’s what I was trying to convince myself . I just couldn’t, not yet. Maybe we could be friends with extras? That would just end in one of us getting hurt. When we pulled into Cooper’s driveway I got out to walk to the drivers side when he snuck up behind me and lifted me up making me stifle a giggle.
    “You want to come in?” He asked eagerly.
“I can’t.” I said way too quickly.
    “Are you okay? You haven’t said much on the ride home. I didn’t hurt you did I? ” He sounded worried. He was always so sweet it was killing me.
“Cooper last night was amazing,