Free More Than Her by Jay McLean Page A

when I finally did, I took a step back. "Micky."
    She stood with bags of groceries in both hands and an awkward smile on her face. "I thought that, maybe...but I see you're on your way out. Never mind." She turned around and started to walk away, bags still in hands.
    "Wait."
    She spun to face me, her eyes glazed with wetness. She did that thing chicks do when their eyes go big so that the tears don't fall. "Hey, are you okay? What's going on?"
    "Nothing." She sniffed once. "I just thought I'd make you and your dad dinner — kind of like a thank you, for yesterday, I guess." She shrugged, looking right at me.
    And for some reason I couldn't fucking say no.
    "Dad's not home, but I eat enough for two people." I opened the front door for her and led her to the kitchen. She placed the bags on the counter. I smiled at her, "What are you making? I'm starving."
    "Pasta. It's pretty much the only thing I can cook." She started emptying the bags.
    I excused myself and left the room so I could text Amanda. I don't know why, but I didn't want Micky to know that I had plans. I didn't want her to think that it wasn't okay for her to be there.
     
    Logan: Hey. I'm really sorry to do this...something came up and I can't make it. I'll call you later though. Promise.
     
    When I got back into the kitchen, she had two pots on the stove and the burners on. She looked up when I walked in, giving me that same awkward smile. I sat on the island and watched her. I didn't know what to say to her, so the whole situation was a little off. But she was there for a reason, which was enough to make me sit and wait. She looked up from whatever she was cutting and faced me. "So, yesterday, with Jake — that was something, huh?"
    I blew out a breath. "Yeah, it was definitely something."
    "You didn't tell him what happened." It was a statement.
    I shook my head, "It's not my place, Micky."
    She looked at me for a long time, our eyes locked, neither looking away. Who knows how long we stood there, watching each other, until finally, she looked back down. Then she spoke; "Jake, he's a great guy..." she trailed off.
    "One of the best." I said
    She was still looking down, chopping whatever was in front of her. "Yeah, he really is. But what happens...I mean, what happens to me, if something happens to us?" her voice broke. When she looked up at me, there were tears in her eyes again.
    I slowly got off the stool and moved to stand in front of her. "What's going on, Micky?" I bent slightly so I could look at her face.
    "I've only known him a month. I mean, I know I have feelings for him, Logan. But what happens if he decides he doesn't like me. I'll have no one. It'll be like that night all over again. You know...prom night. He can't be all I have. I can't go through that loss again." She broke down and hugged herself. "And I miss them, Logan. I miss my family so fucking much and I can't tell him that. I can't talk to him about it because he'll think that he's not doing enough to help me, but it's not about him. It's not about..." Her body fell into mine and she cried. Loud, uncontrollable cries.
    I moved us so we were sitting on the floor and were face to face, and I let her cry.
    "I miss them so fucking much," she continued. "And I miss James, and I even miss Megan. And it's not that I want those two back in my life, I just miss the times, you know? And my sister, Emily, I miss her the most. I always thought she was this pain in my ass, but I miss her the fucking most. I miss her laugh and I miss how we used to make fun of Dad, and I miss the way Mom smiled at us when we did it. I miss the way Dad would always make us breakfast and ...I just miss them ." Her tears fell endlessly as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I'm so sorry, Logan. Shit, I didn't come here to put all this on you. Swear it."
    She looked up at me. I hadn't said a word. I don't think I could have said anything through the knot in my throat and that God damn ache in my chest.
    "It's