Free Secret Life Of A Vampire by Kerrelyn Sparks

spirit—”
    “I know what it means, but Jack wasn't a spirit. He slammed Charlie Trent onto the floor and cuffed him.”
    “Okay.” LaToya frowned. “Then he can't be a ghost.”
    “No.” Lara recalled the way she'd rubbed against him in the church closet. “He is totally solid.”
    “You've touched him?”
    Lara shrugged. “In the process of interrogating him.”
    LaToya snorted. “I bet. So the only explanation for the disappearing act is the guy knows how to teleport. Like on Star Trek.”
    “It would appear so, but teleportation hasn't been invented yet.”
    LaToya pointed her fork at Lara and gave her a knowing look. “That's what they want us to believe.”
    Lara grinned. “You think NASA or some secret branch of the government has discovered how to teleport?”
    “Yeah. And this Jack is one of their secret agents.”
    “Hard to believe,” Lara mumbled with her mouth full.
    “I've got it!” LaToya's face beamed with excitement. “He's a secret agent from the future.”
    “Right. Teleportation and time travel together. That makes it much more believable.”
    LaToya glared at her. “Hey, it makes sense. People don't know how to teleport now, but they will in the future. Ipso facto, he's from the future.”
    “And he traveled back in time to throw a bachelor party at the Plaza hotel.”
    “All right, mock me all you like.” LaToya took her empty plate to the kitchen. “But you won't like the alternative. Since humans don't know how to teleport, then your Jack has to be an alien.”
    “You can't be serious.”
    LaToya pointed a finger at Lara. “This is the second train of thought that's ended up with him being an alien. A coincidence?” She wagged her finger and her head. “I don't think so. Does he spell his name with an apostrophe? Like J'Ack instead of… Jack?”
    “Why would he do that? It sounds exactly the same.”
    “All the aliens do it. It's part of their code.”
    Lara snorted. “He seemed awfully human to me.”
    “He wants you to think he's human, but it's all a façade. He's playing with your mind, making you see him as a human, when he's really a slimy creature with tentacles. And then, he'll impregnate you with his alien baby, and it'll rip right through your stomach—”
    “Enough!” Lara took the rest of her pie to the kitchen and dumped it in the trash. “I just lost my appetite.”
    “Has he made a move on you? Has he tried to kiss you?”
    “Not really. Well, sorta. But I asked him to.” Lara chafed under the look of horror LaToya was giving her. “I didn't mean it. It was an interrogation technique.”
    LaToya scoffed. “I must have missed that lesson at the academy. But now that I think about it, you do need to make a move on him. Get him to take his clothes off.”
    “Why would I do that?” Although the prospect did sound rather appealing. “I have no interest in him that way.”
    LaToya gave her a skeptical look. “Are you going to tell me you never thought about jumping his bones?”
    Lara's face grew hot. “Fine. But if he's really an alien, then we're probably not biologically compatible.”
    “Oh good Lord, you're right. He might not even be a mammal. He could be a reptile and have two… hearts.”
    Lara grimaced. “You've been watching too much science fiction. Just because Jack can teleport, that doesn't make him some kind of lizard.”
    The phone rang.
    Lara jumped. Was Jack finally returning her call?
    “It's the lizard,” LaToya whispered.
    “Don't be silly. He's as human as you and me.” Lara hurried to the phone, then hesitated. “No, you answer it.”
    LaToya lifted both hands in the air. “I ain't talking to no alien.”
    “He's not an alien.” The phone rang again. “I need someone else to hear him, so I'll know I'm not crazy.”
    LaToya heaved a sigh. “Okay. I'll do it for you.” The phone rang again, and she grabbed the receiver. “Hello? You have reached the Boucher and Lafayette terrestrial home.”
    Lara