Free Alive by Holli Spaulding

It’s his voice. His beautiful, calm, soothing voice. Adam. My breathing starts to slow, and I melt into his arms. We sink to the ground together, and I let out a sob that I didn’t know was being built up inside me. He pulls me into his lap, and wraps his arms protectively around me. He is stroking my hair and raining kisses down on top of my head. I want to know why he’s here, and why he came back. But I’m too thankful for his presence to even care right now.
    The ambulance arrives and rushes upstairs to help my mom. I try to climb off Adam and go upstairs to get to her, but he holds me in place. “Please, Peaches, please stay here and let me hold you. Please, don’t go back inside that bar.” He is pleading with me. “Will you tell me what happened? I am freaking out a little bit since you are covered in blood. Are you OK?” The fear in his eyes is evident. I look up at him for a long moment trying to decide what lie to tell him. But I just can’t bring myself to care right now what he will think of me. I realize tonight, that I want someone to lean on. I want to let someone else besides Jessie into my life. It’s a big leap of faith for me to admit this to myself, but I so badly want Adam to accept me and my fucked up life.
    “It’s my mom. She’s been beaten and stabbed tonight. By one of her fucking one night stands, I assume. I bet he beat her up because he wanted drugs, and drugs are something my mom has plenty of,” I murmur quietly.  He pulls me in tighter to his chest and kisses my forehead. I can feel the anger and tension radiating off of his body.
    “God, Abigail. What if I would have dropped you off an hour earlier? What if you would have been home when this happened? What if that asshole had harmed you instead of your mother? I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you, ” he growls.
    I start to cry and shake because I fear something like this will happen to me. I fear it every single night of my life. My mom is never careful who she brings into our home, and tonight just proves that. I start to get angry with my mother, and I can help but be pissed off for her poor decisions. Why, why can’t we just have one normal night?
    “Hey, it’s going to be OK. I’m here now. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise, Abigail.”
    I just nod my head, because right now I just have nothing to say. I am trembling, and my breathing is still coming out in shallow gasps. He wraps his arms tighter around me, and I press my face into the crook of his neck. I inhale his scent, he smells of body wash, cologne, and Adam. It’s perfect, yet calming at the same time.
    “Look at me.” I turn my head towards him and stare into his blue eyes. “I said I’m here now, and you’re safe. Deep breaths, baby, remember to keep breathing. I’ve got you.”
    The paramedics head downstairs in a rush and they have my mother on a stretcher. She’s hooked up to all kinds of machines. Wires and tubes are sticking to her chest. Her skin looks pale, and her blonde hair is sticky with blood. I blanch at the sight of her and I feel my panic attack creeping back up. I jump out of Adam’s arms and run towards my mother. Oh god, she doesn’t look good. Breathe, Abigail, you can do that, just breathe. I have to remember to keep telling myself that.
    “Please tell me… you can… save her,” I sob out. Addiction and all, she’s all I have.
    “Ma’am, we are doing everything we can to help her. I know you’re worried, but we are doing everything we can,” he sympathetically says to me. The paramedics are frantically working on her and loading her into the ambulance. It’s all happening so fast, that I’m having a hard time keeping up.
    “Abigail, we will follow the ambulance and meet your mother at the hospital. Come on baby, let’s go.” Adam gently pulls me towards his car, opens the door for me and puts me in. He buckles my seatbelt, and kisses me on the forehead before closing the door. I