Free Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business by Barbara Park Page B

happened!
    And it’s called—I had pie for dinner!
    Just pie and that’s all!
    That’s because my mother went to the hospital to have the baby. And Daddy and Grandma Miller went with her.
    And so me and my grampa got to stay at his house. All by ourselves. And no one even babysitted us!
    And guess what? Grampa smoked a real live cigar right inside the house! And Grandma didn’t yell, “Go outside with that thing, Frank!”
    After that, my grampa gave me a piggyback ride.
    And he let me put on Grandma Miller’s new hat—with the long brown feather.
    And also, I got to walk in her red high heels.

    Only then I fell down in the kitchen. And so I quick took them off.
    “Hey! I could crack my head open in these dumb things,” I said very loud.
    After that, I opened up the ’frigerator. ’Cause I was hungry from playing, that’s why.
    “HEY! GUESS WHAT? THERE’S A BIG FAT LEMON PIE IN HERE, FRANK!” I hollered.
    And so then Grampa Miller got down two plates. And then me and him ate the big fat lemon pie for our dinner!!
    Just pie and that’s all!!
    And we’re not even going to get in trouble! ’Cause we’re going to tell Grandma that her cat ate it!
    And here’s another very fun thing. I got to sleep in Grampa Miller’s guest room!
    First I put on my p.j.’s with the feet in them. And then my grampa watched me brush my new front tooth. And he tucked me into the big guest bed.
    “Sweet dreams, Junie B.,” he said.
    Except for then I got a little bit of scared in me.
    “Yeah. Only guess what, Grampa,” I said. “It’s very dark in this big room. And so there might be hidey things in here.”
    Grampa looked all around the room. And also in the closet.
    “Nope. No hidey things in here,” he said.
    After that he left on the hall light for me. So my ’magination wouldn’t run wild.
    Except I still didn’t sleep that good. ’Cause there was a drooly guy with claws under my bed, I think.
    And so this morning, my eyes felt very sagging.
    Only then I sniffed something that woke them right up.
    And its name was delicious waffles!
    Grampa Miller cooked them for me! And he let me pour on my own syrup. And he didn’t yell whoa! whoa! whoa!
    After that, me and him played until it was time for kindergarten.
    Except before I left, the funnest thing of all happened! My grandma Miller came home!
    And she said that Mother had a baby!
    And it was the boy kind!
    Then me and her and my grampa all did a big giant hug!
    And Grandma Miller picked me up. And she swinged me in the air.
    “You’re just going to love him, Junie B.!” she said. “Your new brother is the cutest little monkey I’ve ever seen!”
    Then my eyes got very wide. “He is? Really?” I said.
    Grandma Miller put me down. Then she started talking to my grampa.
    “Wait till you see him, Frank,” she said. “He’s got the longest little fingers and toes!”
    I tugged on her dress. “How long, Grandma?” I said. “Longer than mine?”
    But Grandma just kept on talking.
    “And his hair, Frank! My word! He’s got oodles and oodles of thick black hair!”
    I pulled on Grandma’s arm. “How come, Grandma? How come he’s got hair?” I asked. “I thought little babies were supposed to be baldies.”
    But still, my grandma didn’t answer me.
    “And he’s big, too, Frank. He’s much bigger than any of the other babies in the hospital. And you should feel how tightly he grabs on to your finger when you—”
    Just then I stamped my foot very hard.
    “HEY! I WANT SOME ANSWERS DOWN HERE, HELEN! HE’S MY BABY TOO, YOU KNOW!”
    Grandma Miller frowned at me. ’Cause I’m not supposed to call her Helen, I think.
    “Sorry,” I said kind of quiet.
    Then Grandma Miller bended down next to me. And so I didn’t have to yell anymore.
    “Are you telling me the truth, Grandma?” I said. “Is my brother
really
the cutest little monkey you ever saw? For really and honest and truly?”
    Then my grandma Miller hugged me very tight.
    “Yes, little