Free Messy Beautiful Love by Darlene Schacht Page B

completely foolish to our society, which isn’t surprising at all.
    Paul wrote: “We preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; but unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God isstronger than men” (1 Cor. 1:23–25). It may seem foolish to many when I submit to my husband, but the foolishness of God is wiser than ours.
    Are we wives second class? Absolutely not, and no, every argument isn’t our fault. But there will be times when we communicate in every way possible, and our husbands still won’t see things the way that we do. That’s when we can honor God by stepping back in humility and letting our husbands take the lead.
    Readers often ask me what they should do when their husbands aren’t equipped to lead. It’s a good question, but in answering it, we have to realize that regardless of how mature he is or how experienced he is, he’s a work in progress. Isn’t every husband?
    Could there possibly be any man who is fully equipped to lead a family? Or is it possible that God is ready and willing to equip those He calls?
    The minute you stand in the middle, refusing to believe that God’s plan for man is better than yours, you take away the opportunity for God to bless your husband in this area.
    I want to be Michael’s helper, but I also want to be an encourager by allowing him to lead our family. I need to trust God in this area of my life, even when my pride tells me I shouldn’t.
    If you look at your husband and say, “Whoa, this man can’t balance a checkbook! How could he possibly handle ourfinances?” offer to help by working out a budget with him. Letting him lead your family doesn’t mean that you aren’t or shouldn’t be part of the planning process. By all means you should. God created Eve because He saw that Adam was alone and that he needed a helper. You are an essential part of your marriage.
    Submission is a vital part of the marriage covenant that cannot be overlooked or discarded. It’s a step that we take in obedience to God for the purpose of bringing glory to God in our marriages. Although submission is the beautiful, perfect will of God, it should never be misused. In other words, we should never be abused.
    I don’t approach this topic with naivety or insensitivity. I’ve seen the best, and I’ve seen the worst. I was once married to a man who abused me. Thankfully, that was a lifetime ago, before I met Michael and before I understood the beauty of submission and what it entailed. Nobody has the right to hurt you or to force you to sin against God. So if you are in danger, please speak to someone about it. Get help before you get hurt.
    The kind of submission that I’m talking about brings glory to God. Whether our husbands are searching or saved, we can honor our Lord by living in such a way that draws them closer to Him.
    But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quietspirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands. (1 Peter 3:4–5)
    So what about those husbands who don’t want to lead a family? After all, we’re cut from different cloth, right? It stands to reason that some will be leaders and others would prefer to sit back and let you make decisions. Here’s the thing: if he tells you that he wants you to make the decisions, then he’s made a decision right there.
    I smile when I get letters from readers who say, “My husband told me that he doesn’t want me to submit to him, so I can’t.” My answer is, “Well, you better obey his wishes then.”
    It’s kind of cute to see couples trying to figure this out, but it’s an incredible blessing when you see couples who are willing