Free One Indulgence by Lydia Gastrell Page A

to get it on. It had taken his stout valet several minutes to snug him into the thing when he had left the house the previous evening.
    “Allow me.” Richard chuckled. “Then I will expect you to return the favor.”
    “Damned impossible to dress oneself these days,” Henry said.
    Richard was strong and had obviously paid attention to what his valet did when dressing him. They had the task accomplished, and with Henry only pausing twice to savor Richard’s nearness and touch. He helped Richard likewise and then stood next to the chair with his arms uselessly at his sides. He wished he had kept his hat or cane rather than leaving them with the footman, just so he would have something for his hands.
    “It might be best if you left first,” Richard suggested. “Then I will leave a bit later so, well…”
    “So no one who might be in the lobby would see us,” Henry added. “Thank you.”
    Richard nodded. There was something in his expression that Henry could not place. Reluctance? Uncertainty? Whatever it was, Richard seemed to push it aside and said, “Well…I will bid you farewell, Henry.”
    “Yes, to you too. Richard,” he replied. Oh, this felt so strange! How did two people share such an evening and yet part as if they had just met at some inane social event? There really was no other way to part, was there? It was not as if their encounter had been exactly typical.
    Henry cringed and headed toward the door. They had said good-bye, and that was that. He made it all the way to the door without realizing that Richard had matched his steps. Henry stopped only when he felt the warm grip of Richard’s hand in his. He halted and looked back, startled.
    “We…” Richard hesitated and licked his lips. “We could meet again, you know. I had a wonderful evening. I think you did too.”
    Henry wanted to kiss him. In his mind Henry saw himself grinning like a fool and wrapping his arms around Richard’s neck before suggesting times and places to meet. It was a fantasy of mere seconds, then gone. He looked down at Richard’s hand still holding his and shook his head.
    “I can’t,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
    Richard released Henry’s hand slowly and took a step back. A strained smile marred his features. “Of course,” he said. “I understand.”
    Henry reached for the door again and stopped. “No. No, you don’t understand. I would…very much like to see you again, but I can’t. I promised myself just this one time, one night.”
    Richard regarded him with confusion before his features fell and he closed his eyes almost sadly. “Ah. I see.”
    “Yes,” Henry said. “I have responsibilities, people relying on me. I…I just can’t.” I can’t pursue what I want. I can’t be what I am.
    “It won’t work, you know.” Richard’s voice was low, almost a whisper, and his eyes intense. “I know men like us who have tried, and men who still do. Believe me. It won’t work.”
    Henry swallowed hard. Oh, how he would like to cave in and believe that, but he could not. He was nothing compared to his title. The title, the family, the people who relied on him—they were everything. His father had always made certain he knew that.
    “It has to,” he said. “I have no choice. Good-bye, Richard. And thank you. Truly.”
    Henry reached for the door and this time did not stop. In the dimly lit hallway, he moved toward the stairs and away from Richard, chest tensing in some kind of silent protest, as if it already knew that the life that lay ahead was going to be like a lead weight on it forever.

Chapter Four
    Family Strains
    Lord Richard Avery, the youngest son of the late Duke of Culfrey and younger brother to the current duke, ascended the grand white marble staircase of Avery House with a very familiar sense of gratitude. It was a strange, almost unconscious feeling, one that allowed him to appreciate the opulence and history around him while being forever relieved that it was not his. With