Free Love's Sacrifice by Georgia le Carre

I’ll bring you some of my favorite books.’
    I look at her brooch. It is not her best one. ‘Mummy, can I have that brooch you are wearing?’
    Her hand flutters to it. ‘This?’
    I nod.
    She frowns in consternation. She cannot understand why I might want her brooch. ‘Why?’
    ‘ I’d just like to keep it while I am here. It’ll remind me of you. At night. When it gets lonely.’
    ‘ Of course, of course.’ She takes it off with trembling hands and brings it to me.
    ‘ Thank you, Mummy.’ Our fingers touch and before she can remove her hand I catch the smooth, slightly knobby fingers. Her eyes run upward to meet mine—hers are startled and a little frightened. She is now afraid of me. Afraid of what I am capable of.
    ‘ I haven’t been a very good daughter, have I?’
    The little liar begins to shake her head, quite vehemently too.
    ‘ I know,’ I continue, ‘that I haven’t been a good daughter. I’ve been too…obsessive.’
    She draws a sharp breath. This is territory that she has been warned not to go into. We might end up talking about that terrible thing that I did to Blake’s slut. She rushes. ‘Don’t worry about all that now. You just get better.’
    ‘ Thank you, Mummy. I was wondering if you could bring me some of my jewelry, too, perhaps the designer pieces. It will make me feel better while I sit here.’
    ‘ Of course, but what if the staff or the other patients pinch it?’
    I shrug. ‘Then you’ll bring me some more. They are not too expensive to replace.’
    She smiles, a ray of sunshine in her worried face. ‘I’ll bring a little safe for you.’
    ‘ Thank you, Mummy.’
    She sighs.
    ‘ Do you know this might have been the best thing that’s ever happened to me, after all?’
    ‘ Oh?’
    ‘ I was too spoilt and selfish. I think I’d like to build new bridges with you and Daddy. Start afresh and all that. I hope with time,’ I pause and drop my head, ‘you and Daddy and Blake…and his wife will find it in your hearts to forgive me for what I have done.’
    ‘ Oh, darling. There is nothing to forgive. Certainly not on my side, anyway.’
    ‘ I disgraced you and Daddy.’
    ‘ Never mind. No use crying over spilt milk.’
    ‘ I think the meds are helping. I feel a lot calmer now. A bit as if I am floating on a cloud.’
    She smiles. ‘Probably a good thing. You’ve always been a little intense.’
    I laugh. And so does she. She will be my ally.
    After a while she leaves. I am happy to see her go. I find her exhausting, but I need her. I stand at the window. I can see Daddy’s Rolls parked close to the entrance. I wait by the window until I see her emerge from the building and cross the road. As she is about to get into the car, someone enters my room. I turn around.
    It is Angel. I smile at her.
    ‘ How are we today?’ she says. Her voice is jaunty.
    ‘ I have a surprise for you,’ I say.
    ‘ When people say that to me it usually means they have soiled the bed or something equally revolting.’
    I open my palm and show her the brooch.
    She gasps and comes forward. ‘Oh, it’s beautiful, Lady Victoria.’ And then she stops and looks at me. ‘It’s real, isn’t it?’
    ‘ Of course.’
    ‘ I don’t think we are allowed to take such expensive gifts from the patients.’
    ‘ I won’t tell if you won’t.’
    ‘ Well,’ she says doubtfully.
    ‘ Besides, I’m not allowed jewelry. Let alone something so sharp.’
    ‘ That’s true. It is very sharp. You could hurt yourself with it.’
    ‘ Exactly. Why don’t we trade?’  
    ‘ Trade?’ Her tone becomes suspicious.
    ‘ In exchange, you let me use your cell phone sometimes to make local calls. How about that?’
    ‘ Local calls.’
    ‘ Just to friends and family, if I start to miss them too much…’
    Her face changes. ‘I guess that would be OK.’
    ‘ Oh thank you, Angel. You don’t know how happy you’ve made me. Thank you.’ I take a step forward and place the brooch into her palm.
    We