Free Too Soon For Love by Kimberly Gardner Page B

will be fine.”
    Michael laid his head on Phillip’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
    It had to be fine. It just had to be.
    ✧ ✦ ✧
    And it was fine. No cancer.
    Only after they got the good news did Michael fully realize how scared Phillip had been, how all his matter-of-fact talk had been a cover for the terror that had dogged him ever since his friend Martin, who was also his doctor, had found the dark, irregularly shaped mole on Phillip’s ankle and had recommended that it be removed and tested.
    Had it really been five years ago?
    Funny how something like that could scare the shit out of you and turn out to be nothing. Then when the grim reaper really did show up at the door, it was a complete shock that knocked you flat on your ass.
    Picking up one of his ponytail holders from the top of his dresser, Michael gathered his hair in one hand and caught it back in a loose tail just as the doorbell rang. He shook off his maudlin mood. He tried a smile that didn’t quite seem to fit his face and went to answer the door.
    “Nice shirt,” Alan said when Michael opened the door.
    “Thanks.” This time the smile felt more natural. Michael stepped back and opened the door wider. As he reached for his 62 Kimberly Gardner
    jacket on the coat-tree, a chilly wind swirled through the open door. “We bought the shirts at the beginning of last season because we both had jerseys for guys who weren’t on the team anymore.”
    An odd little silence fell between them. Michael would have sworn he felt Alan watching him. But that was probably just his imagination. He hoped it was just his imagination, and that his stupidity the other night hadn’t soured their … what? Friendship?
    Were they friends? He didn’t know. He thought that they could be, as long as he hadn’t fucked things up too badly.
    Michael checked his back pocket one last time to be sure the tickets were there. They were. “Okay, I guess we should hit the road. If you’re late, they make you wait for a stoppage of play before you can go to your seat.”
    “I didn’t know that. I have to confess, I’ve never been to a hockey game before.”
    “Never? Really? Well, you’re in for a treat then.” Michael locked the door then pocketed his keys. “I went to my first Flyers game when I was eight.”
    “Yeah?” Alan offered his arm and Michael took it.
    “Yeah. My aunt and uncle had season tickets and they took me for my eighth birthday. I got to go up to the broadcast booth and everything.”
    “That must have been great.”
    They descended the front steps and Alan opened the car door.
    “You know it. I thought I was some hot shit.”
    Michael slid into the passenger seat of Alan’s car and pulled the door shut. He was babbling, he knew. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something wrong. Alan seemed quieter than he had the other night, less at ease, which in turn made Michael nervous and more talkative.
    They drove for a few minutes in silence before Alan turned on the car radio and began station surfing.
    In his lap Michael twisted his gloved hands together.

    too soon FoR Love 63
    Obviously, Alan was uncomfortable after what had happened the other night. Hell, he probably didn’t even like hockey and had only said yes to be nice. Get the poor grieving partner out of his big empty house. God, it was humiliating.
    He wondered if it would have been better or worse if he had actually kissed Alan. No way to know. And he sure as hell wouldn’t be trying a bonehead move like that again.
    Just get through the evening, that was all he had to do. At least once they got to the game they wouldn’t have to talk.
    Alan finally settled on a station. Some bluesy jazz flowed from the car’s speakers to fill the silence.
    “Can I ask you something, Michael? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want.”
    “Sure.” Michael’s tone was casual but inside his stomach tensed.
    “Have you been blind your whole life?”
    So that was it?
    Relief