Free Dark Soul Vol. 5 by Aleksandr Voinov

you’re just letting your other side have some play.”
    Why, then, did it feel like cheating?
    “He said that?”
    “That, and that I shouldn’t force you to choose. Sometimes, you’ll feel more like this, other days, more like the other.”
    “Yeah. I don’t know. I’ve thought a lot about it, and I’m not sure how other people handle this, but . . . yeah. I still lied to you. By omission. And I’m sorry.”
    She pressed her lips together, her calm shaken for a long moment.
    He wanted to pull her close and whisper to her all those things he loved saying. How she made his life so much better, that they belonged together, that he loved her and nothing would ever change that. But that would be pressuring her, and he doubted she’d accept that closeness now.
    “I was a coward. I just couldn’t face it.”
    She put her hands down on the work surface, arms stiff and shoulders pulled up, and looked to the ceiling, head tilted like she did when she was fighting tears.
    “I’m sorry, Donata. You deserve better.”
    She sighed and shot him a glance, eyes swimming, but clear. “I considered divorce, you know. But you mean too much to me.”
    Stefano gulped down the lump in his throat. Thankfully, preparing lasagna gave them both plenty of opportunity to look at their hands or pause and think for a moment under the pretext of doing something else. They did make a great team, though, always had. “I’m glad you’re staying. I wouldn’t have been happy.”
    “No, that’s what I understand now, too. It took me a while. You can actually love two people. And it’s not like I didn’t experiment with girls.”
    “You did?”
    “I went to a Catholic al -girls school. Of course my first crush was a girl. There weren’t any boys around.”
    “What was she like?”
    “A tomboy, a can-do kind of person. Short hair. Very self-confident. She did tell me she loved me, but that was when things got a bit too much for me. I liked all the rest well enough, but I didn’t want to get all serious about it. I always wondered if she moved on to become a lesbian, whether she ended up hating me, or thought me a coward for not giving it a shot.” She leaned on the counter. “So, in some ways, maybe I do understand you better than I thought. I still think a woman is a beautiful thing, but I always figured you’d bring up the idea of a threesome with another girl first.”
    Stefano chuckled. “I didn’t want to piss you off with that.”
    “You wouldn’t have. I’m totally game.”
    Stefano put his knife down for a moment, because he’d definitely chop his fingertips off it the conversation continued in that vein. But not only that. She wouldn’t be telling him this if she was planning to walk out on him. They were sharing things again; the wall she’d put up was gone. She’d forgiven him, and this was her way of showing it.
    “If there’s a girl you’re into, feel free to bring her home.” Did that sound like he was indulging her? He’d love watching her with another woman, no doubt about that, and if she enjoyed that too, no reason not to do it. But really, he couldn’t think of any better way to tell her how grateful he was that she’d forgiven him.
    They continued to prepare food while the silence lingered between them. By the time they’d started layering the ingredients in the lasagna pan, he was calming down a little and felt a lot more optimistic about the whole thing. As long as his marriage would be all right, he could face whatever else was going to happen. “You know, I didn’t think I could love you more, but I do.”
    She sighed and put her arms on his shoulders. “We’re all not perfect, Stefano, but that’s why we talk. I’m lucky that you’re good at talking, rather than keeping all this hidden.”
    “It would have eaten me alive.”
    “I know. Do you sleep better now at least?”
    “Ah. There’s . . . other stuff we need to deal with.”
    “How bad?”
    “Pretty bad. I mean, really