Free Field Study by Rachel Seiffert

Kenny shouldn’t have got Maria pregnant in the first place if he doesn’t have a job, and Kenny’s dad swears at her. Kenny’s mum leaves the room and then Kenny’s dad gets angry and Kenny’s brother-in-law just carries on eating and Kenny thinks that would be me if I was married to Maria and sitting in a family row. He has to pay the rent, and he owes his mum a tenner, and he knows she worries, and he has to chew every mouthful twenty times to distract himself from throwing the dishes around the room. Sprouts in the shag pile, gravy on the walls.
    Kenny’s dad comes round and takes him in to work. Only there’s nothing for him to do and Kenny thinks his dad isprobably paying him out of his own pocket, which is like taking five tenners off his mum and giving her one back. After the second day he tells his dad he’s got some other work. Kenny’s dad knows he’s lying, and Kenny knows that he knows.
    He goes to sign on. Pays the rent, gives his dad a tenner for his mum, gets a bag of fifties for the meter and buys a week’s worth of bread and beans. He gets a paper every morning and takes a pile of coins to the phone box to call for jobs but there’s nothing doing. It rains a fair bit that week and Kenny wishes he had a phone so Maria could call and it wouldn’t be up to him to swallow his lump of pride every time. He holds out over the weekend, and then on Sunday night the buzzer goes.
    Kenny goes down this time and keeps Maria company up the stairs. She’s a bit bigger again and she looks good, even in the damp stairwell.
    They settle down on the bed quite quickly and turn the TV on but leave the light off. The room gets darker and they get under the duvet where it is warm, and Kenny feels Maria’s legs next to his, her belly pressed against his ribs. They share a can of lager and stay like that until it gets late and they’re both sleepy. Maria slips to the edge of the mattress and takes off her trousers and socks. She leaves her knickers on but takes off her bra under her T-shirt. Then she gets back under the duvet. Kenny kicks off his jeans and turns the telly off. The room is quiet and darkand neither of them moves for a while. Kenny really needs to pee now, but maybe Maria will fall asleep while he’s out of the room. He puts a hand on her arm. She breathes steadily and doesn’t move. Kenny gets up quietly and goes to the bathroom.
    He pees in the dark and brushes his teeth and decides to talk to her in the morning.
    Maria rolls over when he gets under the duvet and puts a hand on his stomach. He touches her fingers and then strokes her arm, and then he rolls over and strokes her back. He can’t see her in the dark, but he knows her eyes are open. He kisses her and she puts her hands on his chest. Kenny takes his T-shirt off and then he takes hers off, too. She is uncomfortable, but he thinks she’s beautiful.
    He isn’t sleepy. He wonders if it was the right thing to do. She doesn’t say anything, but lies very still next to him. After a while, she rolls onto her side and goes to sleep. A little later, she rolls over again, putting her back to him. After that, Kenny goes to sleep, too.
    In the morning he cooks breakfast and they eat in bed. Kenny reads the paper while Maria has a bath. His brother comes round with the paint and an eighth. They whisper in the narrow hall so Maria won’t hear. Kenny’s brother smiles, pats him on the elbow and says he’ll leave them to it.
    Maria gets back into bed to read the paper and Kennymakes a start on the bathroom. She comes in after a while with a cup of tea for him and he asks her if she likes the colour. She nods, but doesn’t look too certain, so Kenny says she can choose the colour for the big room if she likes. Maria shrugs.
    – Blue.
    – If it’s a boy.
    – Yeah. Whatever.
    She comes back in a bit later with her coat on. The paint smell is making her a bit sick, thought she’d go for a walk, buy a pint of milk.
    __
    Kenny waits.
    He doesn’t