Free Believed (My Misery Muse) by Brei Betzold Page A

the calm I needed.
    “Sugar, you’re safe,” a voice said beside me while
strong arms pulled me to a sweaty chest.  “Shh, Jules breathe with me, sugar.”
    I tried to pull away but he held me to him tightly
and finally the voices penetrated the fog I was in. “That’s it, shug, just
breathe.”
    I tried slowing my breathing down to Xavier’s slow
pace but my body fought me on it still ready with its fight or flight
instinct.  “Just breathe, Jules,” he whispered in my ear.  I slowly relaxed
into him and my breathing steadied.  I took in my surroundings, everyone was
staring at me and I buried my face in Xavier’s chest trying to hide.
    “You okay now, Jules?” X asked quietly.
    I nodded against his chest completely mortified.
    “She’s fine, Sam,” X snapped. “She just had a
panic attack.”  He leaned down. “Do you want to stay out here for the rest of
the show?  Or would you prefer to hang out in the dressing room?”
    “Dressing room, please,” I whispered.
    “Coop,” X called. “Can you take Jules to the
dressing room? Don’t leave her alone.”
    “Yes, sir,” he responded.
    “Go on with Coop, Jules, we’ll be back there
soon.”
    “’Kay,” I mumbled and released Xavier when I felt
a different arm circle my waist.  I allowed myself to be led back to the
dressing room where I laid down on the couch and fought the tears.  I refuse to
let that selfish prick ruin my life.  I was past this shit, I was finally
better.  I wasn’t going to let him win.  I kept telling myself this hoping that
I’d be able to convince myself.  I tried to act like everything was fine,
normal, only they weren’t.  He took something from me; he took my sense of
safety from me.  Now I had to fight to get it back.
     
    Sam
    I watched as Jules walked off tucked safely beside
Cooper, but I still fought the urge to go after her.  I wanted to reassure
myself that she was really okay.  I kept watch until they turned the corner
before looking at my other band mates.
    “She’s fine,” X said while staring at me.
    “I know.”
    “Cooper won’t let anything happen to her, and she
needs the quiet right now.”
    “I know,” I snapped.
    “Do you?” X asked.
    “We have to get back out there, we still have
another set to play,” Seth said.
    “She’ll be fine until we get finished,” Eli added.
    “I know,” I growled.
    “Well get your shit together then,” X gritted out.
    I grabbed my guitar from the tech and slung it
around my shoulders then stomped back on stage.  The other three guys followed
behind and we quickly launched into the next song.  The entire time I was on
stage though, I couldn’t get Jules pale face out of my mind.  I didn’t even
want to think about what would have happened if we weren’t taking a break
between sets and got to her.  I’d have to put Cooper or Ian on her when we were
on stage, I didn’t want to ever see that again.
    I missed a note, which had Xavier glaring at me,
so I forced Jules out of my head and focused on the show.  Though I wasn’t
feeling it like I had before the break, I still put everything I could into
it.  The sooner it was over the sooner I could check on her before the meet and
greet.  What I really wanted to do was pack this shit up and get her on the bus
where she would be safe.
    I reminded myself once more that she was Max’s
girl. She was here because my brother trusted me to protect his girl.  I stood
back and watched as Seth and X bantered back and forth riling up the crowd.  I
didn’t hear any of it, just played when I needed to play and tried to bat away
the image of Jules standing there pale and shaking.
    Finally, half way through the second set, I was
able to really focus, that’s when I noticed someone had hung a bra from the
neck of my guitar.  I looked up and noticed X smirking at me, I quickly flipped
him off before breaking into Broken.  I joined in on the banter, and let the
high from being on stage take hold.  It