Free Believed (My Misery Muse) by Brei Betzold

trouble that she couldn’t get herself
out of.  The first time Devi sees her hanging on Seth like she does when he’s
around I won’t be able to stop the outcome.  Though it will be a lesson she
needs to learn, and quickly.
    “What do you think?” I yelled.
    “They’re okay,” she yelled back while watching as
Lana worked the stage.  The guys in the band stayed back letting her have the
limelight.  I wasn’t sure if that was because they didn’t want it, or because that’s
the way she demanded it.
    I saw movement at my side and looked over just in
time to watch Xavier drape an arm around Jules shoulder and pull her close.  He
leaned down and whispered something in her ear that caused her to laugh and
grimace at the same time.  She reached up and pulled him down saying something
in his ear that had him shaking his head no.
    I looked back at the band playing trying to ignore
them, but it didn’t help the urge I had to rip Xavier’s arm from his body and
beat him with it. Seth was standing beside me watching with a smirk on his
face, I flipped him off and stalked away.  I needed to find Ian before we went
on. He was out running errands for me all day and I wanted to make sure
everything was ready.

 
     
    Chapter 11
     
    Jules
    I watched from the sidelines as the guys went to
their spots on the pitch black stage, if it were me trying to navigate I’d have
fallen face first.  Sam hit a note on his guitar that reverberated throughout
the huge arena, with that first note the mostly silent crowd went nuts.  Lights
flashed on and the guys went into their first song.  I smiled when they started
playing Faith from their third album.  It was one of my favorites. I sang along
while Xavier traversed the stage.  It was amazing watching him in action; he
somehow made it seem that he was singing to only you in a jam packed arena. 
Sam and Seth bounced around the stage while flirting with the audience, while
Eli was back on a riser beating the hell out of his drums.
    It was always electrifying watching a live show,
but it was even more so when you could see the band having fun while up there. 
They were undoubtedly having fun tonight, Seth stood beside a monitor on the
side of the stage, his foot propped up lost in the music.  Sam had his head
thrown back which a look of pure pleasure on his face.  Once the song came to
an end, I screamed along with the rest of the crowd.
    “How you doing, Vegas?” Xavier said in the mic.
    The crowd went even more insane, he looked over to
his left where Seth was taking a drink from a bottle of water.
    “What do you think, Seth?”
    “I think that was fucking pathetic!” he shouted in
his mic.
    “You heard the man, how you doing, Vegas?” Xavier asked
again.
    The crowds response was even louder before.
“That’s better,” X growled.
    They went into a song from their second album,
which had done well on the charts.  I danced around having fun while trying to
ignore the people who were coming to stand in the same area as me.  Before
during the opening act the sidelines were deserted but now they were starting
to fill up quickly.  I focused on the band and watched the show.
    By the fifth song, I was feeling the anxiety creep
in, I tried to reassure myself that there was no way he was here.  Only I still
caught myself checking the faces around me looking for Beau’s.  I knew I was
being ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop myself.  I tried to focus on the show but
it was becoming more and more difficult.  It felt like ants were crawling on my
skin, and a cold sweat was breaking out across my skin.  I remembered my
therapist talking to me about ways to handle an anxiety attack and tried taking
deep breaths while picturing my safe place.  I was beginning to calm myself
down when someone bumped into me and I lost it.  I started  hyperventilating. I
knew deep down that I was overreacting but my body was dropping so many
endorphins into my system that I couldn’t grasp