Free Music of the Soul by Katie Ashley Page A

and crying
    over our fight.
    The truth was I didn’t hate the idea of having kids someday—just not anytime soon. I loved Jude
    and Melody, and now Bella had me wrapped around her little finger. But at the end of playtime or
    hanging out with them, they went home with their parents. They weren’t my sole responsibility.
    Babies and kids took a lot of work, time, and energy that I wasn’t ready to give yet. Of course, I
    wanted to get Abby pregnant someday. She was going to make the most amazing mother in the entire
    world. But I didn’t know why she had to have such baby fever now when she was only twenty-three.
    She was acting like she was thirty-five, and her biological clock was ticking. We shared so many of
    the same likes, dreams, and passions that it was hard imagining we were so far off the mark with the
    baby thing.
    After extinguishing the fire, I dejectedly made my way to the house. I didn’t know what I was
    going to say to Abby. I tried going over it in my mind as I trudged through the cool sand. Somehow I
    knew I needed to lead off with Yes, I’m a giant, unfeeling bastard…and then follow up with Please,
    please forgive me. At the same time, I knew I had to somehow make it clear that although I was sorry
    for what I said, I wasn’t changing my mind about when we were going to start a family.
    The house was dark when I got inside. I started for the bedroom when I heard a sniffle from the
    living room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw a heap of blankets on the couch. Somewhere
    underneath it was Abby. And she was crying.
    Damn, I was a bastard.
    With an exasperated sigh, I threw my head back and gazed up at the ceiling. This is so not how I
    envisioned this night to be. “Abby, you don’t need to sleep on the couch. If anyone should, it’s me.”
    “I’m fine,” she sniffed.

    “Would you please come to bed, so we can talk about this?” She huffed contemptuously like I
    was some mega horndog, trying to get her into bed to screw through my apology. “I mean, I think the
    mattress is big enough that you don’t have to worry about touching me if you don’t want to.”
    “Just leave me alone,” she snapped.
    Although the words ‘I’m so sorry’ formed on my tongue, I couldn’t say them. Instead, I grumbled,
    “Whatever,” before stalking back to the bedroom. I jerked the sheet and comforter down before
    flopping down on the mattress. The instant I turned over, pain jackknifed through my chest. Although I
    was all alone in bed, Abby remained all around me. Her scent of jasmine and vanilla mingled on the
    sheets while her strawberry shampoo filled the pillow next to me. A few withered rose petals still
    littered the sheets from where we had made love last night.
    I don’t know why I remained in bed instead of going to apologize. Oh yeah, I was being my usual
    stubborn-asshole self. But although it had come out all wrong, my words were steeped in truth. I
    wasn’t ready to be a father, and my greatest fear was Abby becoming pregnant by accident or on the
    sly. Deep down, I couldn’t imagine that she would ever do something like that, but it was still a fear.
    After tossing and turning for a couple of hours, I finally fell into a restless asleep.

    When I woke up the next morning, I rolled over to snuggle against Abby. The moment I felt the
    cold, empty spot, it came back to me what had happened the night before. “Fuck,” I muttered, as I
    rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. If I didn’t man up and apologize, the remaining five days of our
    island paradise were going to be absolute hell.
    I slipped out of bed and slid into my boxer shorts and then made a quick bathroom stop. “Abby?”
    I called from the bedroom. “Angel, we need to talk.”
    After she didn’t respond, I stalked down the hall and to the living room. Gazing around, I found
    the room empty. Craning my neck, I peered into the kitchen. She wasn’t there either. After I’d checked
    the spare bathroom and bedroom, fear