Free Falling Into Grace by Ellie Meade

my room to change.
    When I come back down, I see Kevin on the floor, wrestling with Ella and Hunter. The kids are laughing, and I smile instantly. He is so good with them. I watch them for a bit and Ella sees me.
    “Mommy, I have the movie all picked out. Can we watch it now?” She is eager, and I get an idea.
    “Yes, we can. I thought you guys might want some chocolate milkshakes while we watch the movie. What do you think of that?” They both stand up and start cheering.
    “Get on the couch, and Uncle Kevin will start the movie. I’ll be in, in a minute.”
    They make their way to the couch and start jumping. I get the blender out and start to make the shakes. I smile as I think about the time Chase made shakes, and forgot to put the lid on. I had chocolate ice cream and milk everywhere. I giggle at the happy time as I pour the kids’ shakes into plastic cups with lids. I take a tray out and line it all up, grabbing the roll of paper towels, just in case, and tucking them under my arm. The kids are staring at the TV when I come back in, so I wave it in each of their faces. They smile from ear to ear when I hand them their shake.
    “Thank you, Mommy,” Hunter says before he starts to drink the shake down.
    I hand Kevin his and sit down on the oversized chair next to the couch. I get cozy in it and start to think about my day. Two of the Grace brothers made passes at me today, and I could barely resist either of them. What the hell am I going to do? I guess it’s a good thing that they hate each other, because they will never talk about me to each other. Oh God, what have I done? This is so unprofessional. I could lose my job over this. Richard would be furious with me. What would Chase think? I feel the shame loom over me like a dark cloud. What is Grant up to? He made such a scene in Richard’s office, makes a move on me in the elevator, but then he sends me flowers. What the hell? Aiden was out of left field. I would have never expected this out of him, but his touch just hypnotized me. Even if I wanted him to stop, I don’t think I could have.
    I run over the whole thing in my mind. It was so sexy. I never thought I could bear the touch of another man. I just keep on surprising myself every day. I shut my eyes, trying to block all of it out. When I open them, the movie is over and the kids are sound asleep alongside Kevin. His eyes look heavy when they meet mine. I think he has been watching me battle myself internally.
    “I’ll help you get them to bed,” he whispers. I take Ella and he takes Hunter. I tuck Ella in, then go into Hunter’s room to kiss him good night. I stop at the door. Kevin tucked Hunter in and is sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at him. I used to love to watch Chase tuck the kids in. The hurt consumes me. I swallow hard as if I am going to push it down, but it starts to invade me. Tears begin to stab at my eyes. Kevin meets my eyes and stands up and walks over to me. He wraps his arms around me and gives me a squeeze. I pull away like I always do. When I walk out of Hunter’s room, Kevin follows me.
    “I have to work tomorrow and Friday. My mom said she can take care of the kids tomorrow. I was wondering if you could help me out Friday?” I stop halfway down the staircase and think of Aiden’s touch on the stairs. My blood starts to rush.
    “I don’t think it will be a problem; maybe I’ll take them out to dinner and a movie.” He offers a half smile. I can tell he is exhausted, andI feel bad asking him for help.He has a girlfriend that he never sees, and now I’m asking for a help on a Friday. No wonder she hates me.
    “I think they would like that.”
    “Good night, Hannah.” He leans over, kisses the top of my head, and walks out the door.
    “Good night, Kevin,” I say as I close the door and lock it. I stand there, leaning against it for a while. What have I done today? What was I thinking? Well, apparently I wasn’t thinking. I want to kick myself. What came