Free The John Varley Reader by John Varley

you.
    CHAPTER FOUR
    â€œSo What Gives, Huh?”
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I’M glad you asked that. (Because you did ask that, Mr. Fingal. This booklet is part of the analogizing process that I’ll explain further down the page.)
    Life in a computer is not the sort of thing you could just jump into and hope to retain the world-picture compatibility so necessary for sane functioning in this complex society. This has been tried, so take our word for it. Or rather, my word. Did I introduce myself? I’m Apollonia Joachim, First Class Operative for the DataSafe computer troubleshooting firm. You’ve probably never heard of us, even though you do work with computers.
    Since you can’t just become aware in the baffling, on-and-off world that passes for reality in a data system, your mind, in cooperation with an analogizing program I’ve given the computer, interprets things in ways that seem safe and comfortable to it. The world you see around you is a figment of your imagination. Of course, it looks real to you because it comes from the same part of the mind that you normally use to interpret reality. If we wanted to get philosophical about it, we could probably argue all day about what constitutes reality and why the one you are perceiving now is any less real than the one you are used to. But let’s not get into that, all right?
    The world will likely continue to function in ways you are accustomed for it to function. It won’t be exactly the same. Nightmares, for instance. Mr. Fingal, I hope you aren’t the nervous type, because your nightmares can come to life where you are. They’ll seem quite real. You should avoid them if you can, because they can do you real harm. I’ll say more about this later if I need to. For now, there’s no need to worry.
    CHAPTER FIVE
    â€œWhat Do I Do Now?”
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I’D advise you to continue with your normal activities. Don’t be alarmed at anything unusual. For one thing, I can only communicate with you by means of paranormal phenomena. You see, when a message from me is fed into the computer, it reaches you in a way your brain is not capable of dealing with. Naturally, your brain classifies this as an unusual event and fleshes the communication out in unusual fashion. Most of the weird things you see, if you stay calm and don’t let your own fears out of the closet to persecute you, will be me. Otherwise, I anticipate that your world should look, feel, taste, sound, and smell pretty normal. I’ve talked to your psychist. He assures me that your world-grasp is strong. So sit tight. We’ll be working hard to get you out of there.
    CHAPTER SIX
    â€œHelp!”
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YES, we’ll help you. This is a truly unfortunate thing to have happened, and of course we will refund all your money promptly. In addition, the lawyer for Kenya wants me to ask you if a lump sum settlement against all future damages is a topic worthy of discussion. You can think about it; there’s no hurry.
    In the meantime, I’ll find ways to answer your questions. It might become unwieldy the harder your mind struggles to normalize my communications into things you are familiar with. That is both your greatest strength—the ability of your mind to bend the computer world it doesn’t wish to see into media you are familiar with—and my biggest handicap. Look for me in tea leaves, on billboards, on holovision; anywhere! It could be exciting if you get into it.
    Meanwhile, if you have received this message you can talk to me by filling in the attached coupon and dropping it in the mailtube. Your reply will probably be waiting for you at the office. Good luck!
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Yes! I received your message and am interested in the exciting opportunities in the field of computer living! Please send me, without cost or obligation, your exciting catalog telling me how I can move up to the big, wonderful world outside!

    Fingal fought the urge to pinch himself. If what this