Free The Lost Luggage Porter by Andrew Martin

never seen you round the rattler before’ he said.
    'I'm new in town, like.'
    'From where?'
    'Hebden Bridge.' 'And where's that, when it's at home?'
    This was the Blocker speaking.
    'Next door to Halifax,' I said.
    'How did tha get bread there?' asked the Blocker.
    'Had a go-on in a factory, like.'
    'A factory making what?' asked the Brains.
    'Screws’ I said.
    I looked at the Brains: a foxy-looking sort: skimpy hair, sleepy eyes; a lot of eyelid visible at all times. Pickpocket.. . Well, it was a skill above the ordinary thief.
    'I had a bit of a run-in with the charge hand . . . got stood down over it, so then I worked in the fields for a time . . . Over Bradford way. That was last back end - harvest time.'
    'And when the harvest was in?' the Brains asked.
    'Workhouse,' I said. 'It was a pretty soft doss.'
    'Got a name?' said the Brains, with the creeping smile about his lips as before.
    'Allan,' I said.
    'Allan bloody what?' said the Blocker.
    'Allan Appleby’ I said.
    'Bollocks’ said the Blocker.
    I gave a glance down at the portmanteau, saying, 'I had this away earlier on.'
    I kicked the bag over towards the Brains, who stood up, plucked out one of the magazines, leaving a page dangling on which we both read the words 'British Locomotive Prac­tice and Performance.'
    From over by the door, the Blocker said: 'What's this rub­bish?'
    'Railway Magazines,' I said.
    'Short of arse wipe are you?' he said, striding over, taking that particular number from the Brains and pitching it on to the fire, where it just lay in the smoke for a while. Presently,
    though, it began to burn, signifying as it did so the end of all my railway hopes for ever. I did not want to be in this smoke hole, I did not want to be in the Pantomime Police, and the anger came up in me all at once.
    'You're a fucking rotter,' I said to the Blocker.
    I heard the Brains say something surprised-sounding as the Blocker closed on me. His fist went back, and I fancy that I said out loud, 'Here we go, then', just before spinning back under the blow, feeling the bar floor come up towards me like something carried on a wave.
    ------- ----
    I put my finger towards my eye, and it touched my eye too early. Some things had happened. The fire was smoking even more strongly, and the place was becoming like a damned kipper house. I put my hands to my eyes again. Of course . . . the fake spectacles were not there. It was all up with my disguise. I was propped against the bar, and the Brains had swapped places with the Blocker.
    'You in the York workhouse?' he said, in a kindly sort of tone, with folded arms.
    'No,' I said, and I saw the specs on the floor beside me, good as new. The want of glass in them might not have been noticed after all. I picked them up, and put them back on my nose.
    I was all right really, refreshed somehow by the thought that the worst had passed for the moment. My eye was swollen. I could force it open, but it wanted to be closed so I left it be. As the water from the stinging smoke rose within it, I wiped it away with my coat sleeve.
    'I'm in a lull just at present,' I said, 'but I'll turn me hand to outdoor portering . . . handyman . . . spot of cow walloping now and again on market days. You can get half a crown a day at that lark.'
    'Who maintains you in between times?' asked the Brains.
    I looked at the fire, where the magazine number was one big cinder under the flowing smoke.
    'Me old man has a bob or two put by. It's him I lodge with ... over Holgate way.'
    'You'll take a pint?' said the Brains, and he stepped back and nodded at the Blocker, who stood up and walked around the bar, to draw the pints himself. Of the landlord there was now no sign. The fossil at the bar had pushed off, too. The Brains jabbed at the fire, reached into the chimney and moved the flue, and an orange glow was revealed in the grate.
    He pulled two more chairs from the far side of the room over to the hearthside, and we all sat down as the Blocker came back