Free Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary) by Jeff Strand

wouldn't you, Roger?"
     
       "Huh?"
     
       Dominick pushed a chair over to where we stood. "Have a seat, Roger," said Farley. "We'll get you messed up real good."
     
       Roger started to protest, but instead settled for giving me a dirty look as he sat down in the chair. The others stopped playing with their action figures and watched with amusement. Dominick handed Farley a small white sheet, which he draped over Roger's chest like a bib.
     
       "Be gentle with me, I'm crippled," said Roger.
     
       "You'll be more than crippled when I'm done with you," Farley informed him. He began to apply a generous portion of rubber cement to the latex. "Tilt your head back. Further. Further. Good."
     
       He carefully positioned the latex in the center of Roger's neck, and then pressed down on it firmly. I had another uncomfortable moment as I realized that with one violent push Farley could probably crush Roger's throat. I was getting seriously paranoid.
     
       "Now you have to sit here perfectly still while it dries," Farley said.
     
       "Oh, joy," Roger muttered.
     
       "Don't talk, either. Okay, Andrew, you can move on to your next tour station. I'll call you back when we're ready."
     
       I figured leaving Roger there unable to move as sticky stuff dried on his neck was suitable punishment for one of the many pranks he'd played on me over the years, so I walked over to Carl. "You're the cameraman, right?"
     
       "That's right." Carl shrugged."Not sure exactly what I should tell you. I point the camera where stuff is happening and try to keep it in focus, basically."
     
       "Could I see your equipment?"
     
        "Yeah, if you want." Carl led me to the other side of the room, where the camera equipment was stored. I had no real interest in seeing it, but I wanted to speak with Carl away from the others.
     
       "So how did you get into Ghoulish Delights?"
     
       "Mike Ashcraft asked me. He and Rachel were the ones who started this. He's our director but he's on vacation." Carl alternated between looking at me and the floor when he talked.
     
       "Yeah, Rachel told me. So, were you two friends, or classmates, or did you work together on another project, or...?"
     
       "Worked at the Legacy Six theatre together.Used to fight over who got to keep the good movie posters."
     
       "So what's he like? I mean, what kind of person comes up with an idea like Ghoulish Delights?"
     
        Another shrug." He's a little askew, like the rest of us. Nice guy.Doesn't try to tell me what to do when I'm taping, so he's pretty easy to work with." He thought for a long moment. "Aside from that, I don't know what else to say."
     
       I asked him about the cameras, just so he'd think I was interested. He spouted off some technical specifications that meant absolutely nothing to me, but I nodded as he spoke. When he'd finished, I thanked him and turned back to the throat ripping demonstration. "Is he ready yet?"
     
       "Not yet," said Farley. "The actors always hate this part. I know I do. That's why I stay on this side of the special effects."
     
       Roger didn't look like he was enjoying this much, which was all right. I walked back over to the action figure setup. "What exactly does this represent?" I asked Linda.
     
       "This is just a scenario we're working on," she replied. "We have about twenty of them right now, but we try to add more whenever we've got some downtime. The more variety we have, the easier it is to find somethingthat appeals to the customers."
     
       "What kinds of scenarios do you have in your collection right now?"
     
       "For the most part, they're just variations on the stalk-and-slash theme. We're not making movies for commercial release, so we don't need shocking plot twists or bold new concepts. Essentially a Ghoulish Delights movie involves somebody running around killing everyone else." She explained this in a remarkably perky