you want to talk about now. What ’ s happened? Deathwatch beetle on the march again? ’
‘ I do have a serious problem about the house, but that can wait, ’ she said steadily. ‘ What we obviously need to discuss is — us. ’
‘ Helen, there is no ‘ us ’ , and there hasn ’ t been for a long time. But you refuse to see it, for some reason. ’
Her nails dug painfully into the palms of her hands. ‘ Maybe because I ’ m in love with you. ’
‘ Well, you ’ ve got a weird idea of what love ’ s about, ’ Nigel commented sourly. ‘ Frankly, I ’ m sick and tired of this ‘ hands off till we ’ re married ’ garbage. I ’ ve tried everything to get you into bed, but you ’ ve never wanted to know. ’
She bit her lip. ‘ I — I realise that now, and I — I ’ m sorry. ’ She looked at him pleadingly. ‘ I thought you were prepared to wait too. ’
‘ No, ’ he said brutally. ‘ Men only beg for so long, then they lose interest. ’ He shook his head. ‘ There ’ s only ever going to be one passion in your life, Helen, and that ’ s Monteagle. No guy stands a chance against a no-win obsession like that. ’
She said carefully, ‘ You mean — you don ’ t want me any more? ’
He sighed. ‘ Let ’ s be honest. It was a boy-girl thing at best, and it certainly didn ’ t make it into the grown-up world. Although I hope we can stay friends, ’ he added hastily. ‘ Face it, you ’ ve never been interested in sex — or even curious. A couple of kisses have always been enough for you. But now I ’ ve met someone with a bit of warmth about her and we ’ re getting married. I brought her down this weekend to meet my parents, so I really don ’ t need you ringing up every five minutes. ’
‘ I see. ’ Helen swallowed. ‘ You know, I had the strangest idea I was engaged to you myself. ’
He shrugged. ‘ I know we discussed it, ’ he said awkwardly. ‘ But there was nothing definite. For one thing, I ’ d have had a hell of a fight on with my parents. ’
‘ Oh, yes, ’ Helen said unevenly. ‘ I always knew they didn ’ t like me. ’
‘ It wasn ’ t that, ’ he told her defensively. ‘ They felt we were wrong for each other, that ’ s all. And they didn ’ t want me tipping everything I earned down that money pit of yours, either. ’
He paused. ‘ I have ambition, Helen, and I ’ m not ashamed of it. I want a wife who can help with my career — someone who likes entertaining and can provide the right ambience. Let ’ s face it, you ’ d hate that kind of life. ’
The wind was cold suddenly — turning her to ice.
She said quietly, ‘ And I haven ’ t any money — to make up for my other deficiencies. Isn ’ t that part of it? ’
He gave her an irritated look. ‘ Money matters. Are you pretending it doesn ’ t? ’
‘ No, ’ she said. ‘ Particularly when I ’ ve just been turned down for my grant. ’
‘ Well, what did you expect? Clearly they don ’ t want to throw good money after bad, ’ he said. ‘ That ’ s not good business practice. ’
She winced painfully. ‘ Nigel, ’ she said urgently, ‘ I — I ’ m trying to save the home I love. I thought you might be able to suggest something — someone who could help. Who might be prepared to invest in the estate… ’
‘ This is a joke — right? ’ His tone was derisive. ‘ I suggest you look round for a rich husband — if you can find someone as frigid as you are yourself. And how likely is that? ’
The pain was suddenly more than she could bear. She took a step towards him, lifting her hand, driven by a half-crazy need to wipe the sneer from his face.
Nigel retreated, throwing up an arm to ward her off, his smart brogues slipping suddenly in the mud created by the recent bad weather.
Helen saw his face change from alarm to fury as he overbalanced, teetering on the edge of the lake for a moment before he fell backwards into the water with