Free The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks, Anne Semans Page B

ejaculation—presumably since they’re not worrying about whether or not a female partner will reach orgasm, they don’t feel pressure around how long they do or don’t take to ejaculate. As men age, the rate at which they reach orgasm slows down naturally.
    Popular remedies for premature ejaculation tend to focus on trying to counteract sexual arousal or to deaden sensation in the penis. You’re probably familiar with the stereotype of a man reciting baseball statistics to himself during intercourse so that he can “last longer,” and the adult industry does a booming business in numbing gels sold as “erection prolongers” (these contain anesthetic ingredients).
    Actually, the best way to gain control over one’s physical responses is to increase rather than decrease awareness of sensation. Common and highly effective treatments for premature ejaculation involve learning to identify the moment of “ejaculatory inevitability” right before orgasm. If you feel that you’re reaching orgasm sooner than you’d like, practice the following stop-start exercises. Start by masturbating. Pay attention to your level of arousal, and when you feel you’re about to reach orgasm, stop moving, stop touching yourself for a moment, and let the arousal ebb slightly before starting up again. Repeat this a few times and see how long you can stimulate yourself each time before you have to back off again. After fifteen minutes or so, consciously allow yourself to come. The fact that you’ve built up to orgasm slowly and deliberately could well result in a particularly enjoyable orgasm.
    The next step is to incorporate this stop-start technique into partner sex. Gradually intensify the stimulation you’re receiving in each session, so that you gain confidence that you can control your responses under increasingly arousing circumstances. It’s usually recommended that a man learning to control ejaculation progress from masturbating with no lubricant, to masturbating with lubricant, to intercourse with his partner on top of him while he lies still, to intercourse with him on top and moving. Some men utilize a variation of the stop-start method known as the squeeze technique. With this technique, you forestall an imminent orgasm by grasping the area right below your glans between your thumb and forefingers, and squeezing. After a few seconds of squeezing, you can resume stimulation and build yourself up to the point of ejaculatory inevitability again.
    You may also find it helpful to use your PC muscle to delay ejaculation. See the Multiple Orgasm section below for tips on how you can modulate your level of arousal by consciously contracting and relaxing your PC muscle.
    Bear in mind that you’re not going to gain control over your body by denying yourself sensation. Instead, let yourself take conscious pleasure in the different levels of arousal you’re capable of experiencing. As you learn to postpone the immediate gratification of orgasm, you may well discover a subtle range of sensation that is infinitely more gratifying.

    Male and Female Anatomy
    Anal Eroticism
    The anus is an erogenous zone that doesn’t always receive the acknowledgment it so richly deserves. For many people, the anus is the seat of a lot of physical tension and is associated with uncleanliness, discomfort, and pain. Anal eroticism is all too frequently dismissed as “unnatural.” Yet if you can get past societal taboos and personal fears, you may be pleasantly surprised by the erotic possibilities of anal play.
    After all, the anus is not only loaded with blood vessels and nerve endings, it also shares in the genital engorgement of arousal and the muscular contractions of orgasm. Many women and men find that direct stimulation of the anal opening enhances sex. The perineum, the area between the vaginal opening and the anus in women and between the base of the scrotum and the anus in men, is another potential erogenous zone.
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