Free Happier Than She's Ever Been... by Menna van Praag Page A

other.
    â€˜Wow,’ he said.
    â€˜Wow,’ she said.
    â€˜It’s pretty amazing,’ Ben admitted. ‘What are you going to do?’
    May shrugged as though she hadn’t really thought about it, as though she wasn’t really considering it, as though it didn’t matter much to her at all. ‘I don’t know.’
    Ben felt a small puff of panic float up inside him. Trying hard not to show it on his face, he prayed he wasn’t about to lose her all over again. ‘Well…’
    â€˜Well, I suppose I should call them all back,’ May reasoned. ‘I mean, that’s only polite, right?’
    â€˜Right.’
    â€˜And maybe, I mean, it’d probably be sensible to have an agent at least. Don’t you think?’
    â€˜Sure.’
    â€˜And it might be worth getting a little more publicity for the book,’ May mused. ‘I mean, to get the message out there to as many women as possible.’
    â€˜Of course.’
    Ben fingered the box in his pocket. He could see that she was pretty overwhelmed with all the attention. That she was basking in it. That it was just starting to sink in. May was happy. Indeed, though she was trying to play it down as much as possible, she was clearly overjoyed. And Ben could see that his own little declaration of love wasn’t going to add very much to it. Now was not the right time. He would have to hold onto it for a little while longer.

    The next month flew by in a flurry of phone calls, meetings, interviews, appearances, book signings and readings. Ben and May saw less and less of each other, and the gap between them grew wider. May, though she denied it to herself, became increasingly distracted by the demands of her newfound fame. And Ben started to feel that their relationship had devolved into something more akin to a chance meeting at a Hollywood party, with him trying anything to get her attention while May sneaked glances over his shoulder to see if anyone more important had just walked into the room.
    At first May was oblivious to this, and Ben didn’t bring it up. He hoped it would pass, that May would stay true to her word. He hoped the allure of fame and fortune would prove weaker than her love of their life together. But, unfortunately for them both, Ben underestimated the power of the drug that had beguiled May. Her addiction had returned, but this time the seductive nature of attention and adoration was far, far stronger than chocolate.
    It didn’t happen straight away. For a little while May kept her focus on her heart, her attention on spreading her message of courage and compassion and helping women with their struggles in life. The first few interviews were fine. The first few fans didn’t turn May’s head. The first few weeks of increasing interest, compliments and soaring book sales didn’t knock May off centre too much. She still sat in the kitchen with Doughnut, reading the local paper, a little embarrassed whenever she saw her picture. She still took Ben coffee in the mornings and kissed him. She still sat at her desk, writing back to requests for advice and gazing out at the beautiful view of San Francisco.
    But it didn’t last. The stability of her relationship simply couldn’t stand against the riptide that was slowly sucking May under. Her inner knowing, her intuition, her sense of self – they were still too soft for May to feel the little nudges that warned her against the mercurial nature, and false high, of fame and fortune. And by the time May realised the illusion of what she’d given a piece of her soul for, it was too late. She wanted it too much. The drug was in her system and she needed her next hit.
    Now whenever Ben gently tried to bring up how lost and distracted she’d become, May fobbed him off with false words of wisdom, reassuring him that she knew exactly what she was doing, that she was entirely able to stop at any moment she chose. But Ben