everything out. Make this whole thing something special.”
I nodded and turned back to the ocean. The campaign slogan flashed across my mind. Live beautifully… If this was what they meant by that, if this was what it felt like to live beautifully, then I wasn’t sure I was cut out for it, despite the luxury around me. I didn’t belong in a place where I could get myself into such terrible messes.
I’d definitely never imagined such a fucked up situation when I dreamed of my big break out into the field back in college. I just wondered what being cooped up would be like, and if the problem would go away, or if the close quarters would make the tension between Gavin and I explode like a powder keg.
I remembered my Grandma praying with me back on the island, her wrinkled lips moving in the light from the sunset over my bed. It had been years since I’d prayed, but if any time felt right, it was this one. It certainly couldn’t hurt.
God, please, if you’re listening, find it in your heart to cut me some slack. So, I slept with the boss, and it turns out he’s married. I swear I’m so, so sorry. I had no idea. Please don’t ruin my life because of this mistake… Please make it all work out in the end.
The spray misted my face as I stared out over the horizon. Here I was, beginning what should have been the journey of a lifetime.
So why did it feel like it was the beginning of the end?
***
Gavin
It felt good to be at sea again, despite the tension on board The Fiona . I’d watched the island pull away from the port hole in my cabin, too cowardly to go up on deck and see her there, the sunlight making her skin glow, the ocean air caressing that beautiful black hair. Too stubborn to make it right. To end it properly. To let her know I couldn’t give my heart away, no matter how amazing these last few days had been.
That I’d made a promise, and I intended to keep it, no matter how much it made me ache inside.
A man who only kept faith when it was easy was no man at all. It was when it was hard that your mettle was truly tested. This was my test, was all. A beautiful, brilliant woman, here to break down my resolve. To put my promise through the fire.
Despite my resolve , I’d hidden away, only emerging to cook for the crew, laughing and talking like I hadn’t a care in the world. I was their leader, after all. I couldn’t let my personal failings, my doubts and fucks ups, affect them. The campaign was the most important thing now, and I had responsibilities. I couldn’t forget that, even for one moment. The crew deserved better.
Now, after a dinner where I’d caught Aolani glancing my way and then back down to her plate, I sat in my top deck hot tub, alone, watching the stars and letting the soothing hum of the engines melt my tension away.
What was it about her that made me act so foolishly? I felt out of control around her, helpless every time I saw her beautiful body laid out before me, but was that the only reason? Just lust and lust alone?
I remembered just days ago where we’d lain in the mud together, after I’d thrown her down and taken her like some sort of Neanderthal. I’d joked that she’d made m e into a beast. But was that really true? Was I just thinking with my cock like an animal? Or was there more to this attraction that was making my life a bloody torment?
I thought of the day I’d hired her. How just a day later I’d taken her completely out of her comfort zone and forced her to wear a bikini. How that flash of fear in her eyes when she’d tried to laugh about it changed to determination on the deck of the yacht. How she threw herself into it, despite her hesitation… despite her worries.
I remembered the way she seemed to soften when she talked about her cousin and life back in Hawaii. The way her sharp wit never failed to draw a laugh or a smile out of me, when I’d been so reserved for so long. Not even my own brothers had done that for me, even