Free Too Big To Miss by Sue Ann Jaffarian Page A

me want to vomit. I quickly went back to our conversation about money.
    "The only beneficiary is the son, and supposedly he didn't even know she existed."
    "Sex and money." Greg was looking out at the beach again. I could tell he was thinking out loud, rather than speaking to me. "Sex and money," he repeated. "The two most popular reasons for murder."
    There is was again, the M word.
    "What about the web site?" I asked. "Perhaps one of the viewers got too close."
    More than once it had crossed my mind that maybe Greg Stevens had gotten too close. He said he'd never met Sophie, but that didn't mean he was telling the truth. For someone he'd never met, he sure knew a lot about her. He turned his gaze away from the beach and in my direction, catching me red-handed in the act of scrutinizing him. I felt myself blush and quickly brought my coffee mug up to my mouth, hoping to cover part of it.
    "Greg," I said, after taking a couple swallows of coffee, "since we are on such friendly and candid terms now, tell me something. Something that Sophie might have confided in you."
    "Sure, doesn't matter now, does it?"
    I felt my mouth turn downward.
    "Tell me, why did Sophie perform on that site?"
    Greg reached down and patted his dog. I could tell he was giving it a great deal of thought. Picking up a scrap of bacon from his plate, he fed it to the well-behaved animal.
    "Sophie had a lot of reasons for operating that site. Some I know, most I can guess at. Money for one reason. She was very popular and had a lot of subscribers. Also, I think it gave her a boost emotionally."
    "You mean performing like that gave her a rush?"
    "Probably. You'd be surprised how many people get their kicks that way on the Internet. But for Sophie it was more than that." He paused, weighing his words carefully.
    "Both you and Sophie did a lot of work promoting equality for overweight women. If you haven't looked at the site yet, you should. Her message is loud and clear, even there. All women are beautiful, no matter their size or shape. Also..." He drifted off.
    "Also, what?" I asked, urging him on. He was talking about a friend I knew, yet didn't know. "Did she ever say anything specifically about the site?"
    "Yes, one night she and I talked until dawn about a lot of things." He rolled his wheelchair closer to me, and I found myself leaning in closer to him.
    "The same bigotry that faces you as an overweight woman, often faces the disabled. We are viewed differently, as something apart. People are nervous around others who are not quite the same as they are."
    He paused briefly, took a deep breath and continued. "Just as many people don't view me as a whole man, they don't see you as a whole woman. And you know that's true, Odelia. I'm not telling you something you haven't already experienced."
    I nodded. Size does matter. In getting jobs, mates, even seats on buses, it's always a factor. Even shopping.
    "It doesn't matter if it's weight, a disability, religion, or the color of someone's skin," Greg said. "It's all based on ignorance. Most of the men who frequented Sophie's web site adore larger women, including me. That night she told me that chatting with them, getting e-mails and fan mail, made her feel truly special. After giving so much to everyone else, this was where she received her support. Her refueling, so to speak."
    It was my turn to gaze out at the ocean. I stared at the sand and surf across the street and took several deep breaths. Each time filling my lungs with the salty fresh air until they could hold no more.
    "It bothers you that she confided in me and not you, doesn't it?" Greg asked.
    I nodded without looking at him.
    "Maybe I can explain it better. You ever go online, like in chat rooms?"
    Again, I nodded my confession. "Yes, a few times. But I usually find them