need to do is give it back to you. The first thing we’re going to work on is recognizing the feeling you get right before an episode happens.”
“I told you, I don’t feel anything.”
She shook her head. “You do, you’re just not aware of it yet, and it doesn’t give you much warning, a few seconds maybe, but those few seconds are crucial.”
“What does it feel like?”
“Every shifter is different. Some feel a vibration. Others feel something akin to a hot flash, while others get this butterfly effect in their stomachs.”
Liam’s eyes widened. “I’ve noticed this odd taste flood my mouth right before I black out.”
“Good. We’re one step closer. What you have to do now is use it to keep grounded. What’s happening is you’re being attacked by her emotions and you have no time to fight it. It’s not like a physical attack where you get hit from behind and stagger but can regroup and fight back. This is an emotional and mental abduction. Without preparing, you’re defenseless.”
“How am I supposed to prepare with only a few seconds as a warning?”
“It won’t be easy. In fact, it’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to master.”
Aidan grimaced, understanding somewhat better what his friend was going through. What he might go through if he wasn’t careful. That acknowledgment was exactly why Liam had insisted on him staying in the room.
“Will I always go into Bahrraj ?” Liam asked.
“In some form, yes. What we need to work on is keeping you conscious enough to get you out of it quickly and hopefully by yourself. The warning helps you stay aware of your surroundings.”
“Wait. Are you saying I’ll eventually be able to work myself out of them?”
“Yes.”
Aidan was stunned at the true smile that turned Liam’s lips upward. For a moment, he saw his old friend. “Does that mean I can finally live alone again?” He glanced at Aidan. “No offense.”
“None taken.”
“You’ll be able to live independently one day.” She reached for Liam’s hand again, then stopped and slowly withdrew. “It won’t be any time soon, though. We have to make sure you have complete control first.”
“Doc, this is the best news I’ve had since this all started. When I first moved in here, I thought it would be temporary, but as the months went by instead of getting myself back together, I kept sinking further and further into this uncontrollable darkness. I’ve felt like such a worthless leech, and after the Bahrraj episode, I thought I was doomed to being babysat all my life. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“Would you have listened?”
“No…probably not.”
“And that is why I didn’t tell you. I learned very early in my career that Dsershon brings out a mistrust and hopelessness in a shifter that is very hard to get past. I wasn’t surprised when you didn’t show up for your first session. I had to earn your trust, which I did yesterday when I asked you about your beast. I’m telling you now, therapy will give you your life back. It won’t be the same as before, but you can have a life again.”
Aidan watched as the lines that had been present on Liam’s face ever since Ava’s Dsershon relaxed. Tension eased from his body. If his friend had any lingering doubt about getting therapy, it was now gone. Liam was ready to fight.
“Okay, let’s get back to the warning,” Liam said. “What am I supposed to do when I taste it?”
“Mentally prepare. Remind yourself that it’s her reality you are feeling, not yours . As her emotions overtake you, you hold on to that, repeat it, do not allow yourself to stray from it. Think of it as a life vest that will keep you from going under.”
“All right.”
“I’m going to have you bring on a Bahrraj episode right now.”
“I can do that?”
“You do not try this on your own. Only with me. It’d be very dangerous for you to do it alone.”
Liam nodded.
“Now concentrate on her bond.