Free The Blood We Spill: Suspense with a Dash of Humor (The Letty Whittaker 12 Step Mysteries) by Donna White Glaser

to play on my jealousy and insecurities.
    One thing stood out. No one in the group was about
to give up the community’s main address or even a phone number, and they were
very skilled at deflecting requests for them. If I was going to find Beth, I
would need to commit myself to this venture completely. No turning back.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Eight
     
     
    E xhausted beyond
reason by the time I made it home, I threw myself down on my bed, burying my
face in the quilt. I needed to get up and make notes of the whole episode so I
wouldn’t forget anything when I met with Tracy. And I was going to do that.
Right away.
    I slept hard until eleven-thirty on Sunday morning.
I woke fully dressed, smelling more than a little rank, with a neck that blazed
with pain whenever I turned to the left. Left was bad. I took a hot shower and
tried to massage my own neck, but what good is that? I needed somebody else,
and my official somebody else hadn’t returned my calls in three days. Also not
good. I had already left two messages and decided that calling a third time
would look desperate. Would be desperate. He had been in contact with Jimmy.
There was no reason why he couldn’t have called me. Except that he had chosen
not to.
    I pushed the fear of losing Eli into a big box
labeled PAIN in my mind and focused on making a plan.
    The biggest issue to deal with was taking a leave
of absence from my job. Not an easy task, since psychotherapists weren’t
quickly replaceable. I didn’t have a lot of time. More big guilt. More being
pulled in two directions. If I was looking to make a move to the Elect, I had
to face that I was letting people down who had placed their trust in me.
Vulnerable people.
    I would have to talk to my supervisor first thing in
the morning. I needed a lie. A big one. One that would cover the abruptness of
my departure, even if it didn’t excuse it. Mulling over several possibilities,
I settled on the old standby: a death in the family. Preferably my mom’s, which
might be the only upside to the whole venture. Unless she ever heard about her
“untimely demise,” in which case she might recognize my killing her off as an
exercise in wish fulfillment. She could be touchy about things like that.
    I made a list of my clients and spent a good chunk
of the day deciding which colleague each individual might best be paired with
in my absence. At the end, I was left with three clients whom I didn’t feel
comfortable referring in-house. Tracy might be a good match. I would make sure
they had her name and number before I left.
     
    The rest of the week was spent avoiding thoughts
of Eli and making arrangements for putting my life on hold for an indefinite
period of time. I met with Tracy again. I cleaned. I did the laundry. Packed.
Read the Bible and the research books. Tried to reconcile myself and my clients
with my abrupt departure.
     I spent a lot of energy avoiding my boss too.
Even while she commiserated with me on my “loss,” she let me know what a
disservice I was doing to the clinic and my clients. Not much I could say. She
was right.
    One of my bigger problems was solved when I met
again with Jimmy. He agreed to act as power of attorney over my finances. Not
that he would have a lot to manage. His main responsibility would be depleting
my savings to pay bills and keep my creditors at bay.
    I refused to think of my savings. I had never
saved during my drinking years, financial responsibility not taking priority
over getting high. Every little bit that I could squirrel away put more
distance between me and my past. I could only hope that it would last until I
could get back to my real life. I wanted Eli to take over in that area, but he
continued to avoid me.
    I also wanted to see if he’d watch Siggy. I ended
up calling Paul, an A.A. buddy whose recent and entirely unexpected romance had
left him so twitterpated that I had been afraid that he would forget about
Siggy