Free Kate's Song by Jennifer Beckstrand

suppose I did.”
    “And you are the bishop’s wife.”
    “Ach, what do I know as the bishop’s wife? Luke does the ministering. I tend the house.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Besides, I am not your bishop’s wife.”
    “Bishop Schwartz is my sister-in-law Ada’s father. It seems strange to go to him.”
    “Perhaps.”
    “I want to know why you left Apple Lake and why you came back. Or is it rude to ask something so personal?”
    “Nae, but I do not talk about it much. It was such a long time ago. But Luke loves to tell the story.”
    “He does?”
    “Oh, jah, he puffs out his chest and struts around because I chose him over a very handsome Englischer.”
    Kate pictured Luke Miller. A fine, gute man, but not handsome. His bushy eyebrows dominated his round face, and his cheeks were pockmarked with the scars of teenage acne.
    “Todd Bryson was a sight. Curly golden hair and blue, blue eyes. I loved him—as much as an eighteen-year-old girl can know about love. He asked me to go to Chicago with him and a group of friends to live and find jobs.”
    “And you went.”
    “Your vision can cloud over when you are in love. I did not think of my family or my future. I wanted to be with him.” She pinned Kate with a stern eye. “But I want you to know, I did not do anything to shame myself. I lived with some of the other girls. And he in an apartment of boys.”
    “How long were you there?”
    “Not long. Luke came storming into town about three months later and gave me an ultimatum. ‘I will wait no longer for you, Edna Schrock. There’s three other girls back home if you’ll not have me.’”
    “What did you say?”
    “I yelled at him. He yelled at me. We made so much noise, the upstairs neighbors pounded on the ceiling. And then he kissed me right on the mouth and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. I packed up my things and came home with him, and we haven’t ever once yelled at each other since we were married.”
    “One kiss changed your mind?” Kate said.
    “Nae, that was more like the icing on the cake. About two minutes after I got to Chicago, I realized what I had left behind. The exciting world outside of Apple Lake wasn’t all that exciting. It was loud and rude and frantic.” Edna regarded Kate with a perceptive eye. “You know what I am talking about.”
    Kate nodded.
    Edna patted Kate’s arm. “The Plain life is simple and slow, but it is not for everyone. The way we live requires great sacrifice. We sacrifice the self to find God. ‘He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.’”
    “It is so different from where I have been the last two years,” Kate said. “Selfishness there is encouraged. My professor scolded me once for letting someone else in line ahead of me during an audition.”
    “Jah, I can imagine.”
    “But the Amish way isn’t the only choice that requires sacrifice. I love to sing, but if I choose the academy, I will be separated from my family. It will never be what it was.”
    “I do not know what to say to you, Kate, except that my family is the most important thing in the world to me. That is what I learned those few weeks in Chicago. I could never give up my family.” Edna studied Kate out of the corner of her eyes. “Then again, I cannot carry a tune in a bucket. So I never faced your dilemma.”
    “Will I go to hell?” Kate said quietly. That seemed to be Naomi’s opinion.
    “Oh, sis yusht! What an idea! If you choose to follow your music, then believe in God and live a good life. I cannot believe you will go to hell. But decide now how it will be. If you leave after you are baptized and have made your pledge to God, that is another story. But before? Of course not.”
    Kate hadn’t realized how tense she was until she looked down at the balled-up fists in her lap. She relaxed her shoulders and took a deep breath. “That is what I wanted to know.”
    Edna was