Free Living with Love (Lessons in Love) by Clarissa Carlyle

her away from the fun frivolity of college. She thought of Andy off having fun, and she envied him and hoped he knew how precious the next few years would be.
     
    ****
     
    Stepping out of Starbucks, clutching her steaming hot latte, Alex strode confidently down the sidewalk, heading to the building where she worked, when she suddenly caught a glimpse of her reflection in a shop window, and she had to pause to do a double take.
    She no longer recognized the professional, confident young woman looking back at her. Gone were the jeans and hooded sweaters of Princeton. Alex was wearing a black pencil skirt she’d bought in a sale, coupled with a grey sweater beneath which was a bright pink shirt to offer a shock of color to her outfit. On her feet she had black ballet pumps, a practical but attractive choice. Her coat was currently open as she’d warmed up during her commute. It was a long black coat, another sale purchase. Her blonde hair was held up atop her head in a neat bun. She looked smart and well put together. Watching herself, she realized how she now blended in with all the other immaculate commuters. Alex no longer looked like an outsider. She resembled a young professional who belonged in the city.
    It was unnerving to see the change in herself. But she liked it. She looked like the person she was trying to be : someone smart and successful. She almost laughed aloud at the absurdity of it all. That a year ago she’d been in her Princeton sweater, wearing sweat pants and poring over books, but now she was in New York, living her dream.
    But Oscar would be unimpressed. The thought soured her good mood , and she looked away from the window and continued to walk along the street, but her pace had slowed. Oscar would look at her new, smart appearance and scoff. He’d tell her that she was just another monkey in a suit, dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum.
    Thinking about him made her body feel heavy with guilt. She’d not heard from him for so long, he had clearly cast her out for good. She hoped he was doing well, that he was better, but each time she reached for her phone with the intention of calling him , she thought better of it, or rather, she chickened out.
    She knew that she needed to move on with her life, particularly her love life.
    “I can’t believe a beauty like you hasn’t been snapped up!” Jeff would regularly comment whenever he asked Alex for an update about her love life.
    There had been offers . Some guys at the office had asked her out for drinks, so had a young guy she’d locked eyes with on her commute, but she always refused. Something was holding her back from meeting them, from going on dates. She thought it was Oscar but realized it wasn’t. It was the other man in her past, the one she kept trying to run from but couldn’t. It was Mark.
    Whenever Alex thought of Mark she grew angry with herself. She was convinced that they had no future, despite what his letter may have said. He lived in Woodsdale, the town Alex had fought so hard to leave. What kind of future awaited them if they did rekindle their relationship? She was hardly going to give up her dream job in the city to return to her tiny hometown. And long distance rarely ever worked out.
    Ashley was currently feeling the sting of a long-distance relationship. She spoke to Ricardo regularly, but she felt it wasn’t enough.
    “I just want to hold him,” she’d sigh sadly to Alex during their nightly call. “I can see him, he’s right there on the screen , but we can’t kiss or anything. It’s like a weird form of torture.”
    “Isn’t he coming over soon?”
    “Once he’s saved up enough money for air fare. He won’t let me pay for him, he’s too proud. I keep insisting that I’ll fly him over, but he won’t have it!”
    “It’s noble that he wants to do it himself,” Alex complimented.
    “Noble isn’t kissing me, noble isn’t holding me close.” Ashley pouted in dismay. Then she sighed and shook