Free Requiem for a Dream by Hubert Selby Jr. Page A

out of the bagel then
slurped a little hot tea. From time to time she smoothed and evened
the cream cheese on the bagel before taking another bite and slurping
more hot tea. She tried to eat the bagel and cream cheese slowly, but
still it was gone before the next commercial. I'll wait. No more
before the commercial. The next one should be a kitty litter. They
got such nice pussy cats. They purr so nice. She sipped a little tea
from the glass and watched the set thinking that maybe she wouldnt
have anything else until after all the commercials. After all, its no
big deal. And after breakfast I'll go to the library and get the diet
books. Dont want to forget. The library first then to Adas so she can
dye my hair. A lovely, gorgeous red. O hello puss. O, youre a sweetie
little puss. So cuddly like a baby. She reached over and picked up
the cheese danish and started dunking it in her glass of tea before
she realized what she was doing. She awoke to her action as she
chewed and rolled the danish around in her mouth. She looked at the
pastry in her hand, and the indentation her teeth made on the edge
where she had bitten, then realized why her stomach and throat were
smiling. She almost ignored the commercials completely as she
continued to bite and chew as slowly as possible, taking short, jerky
sips of tea. When she finished the delicious cheese danish she licked
her lips again, then her fingertips, then wiped her hands on the dish
towel on her lap, then gently rubbed at her mouth before sipping more
tea. She looked at the wrapping that had been around the danish and
wiped the glazed moisture with her fingertip and licked it. Waste not
and want not. Hmmmmmm, it tasted so good. It seemed to be extra
special this morning like it was made for an affair. Maybe she should
get another one. I'd miss the end of the program. I dont need any
more. Eh, who needs it. I'll forget all about it. I'll watch the show
and not think of the cheese danish. She continued to wipe the
wrapping then lick her finger. She finally crumbled all the wrappings
up in a little ball and tossed them into the garbage and forgot all
about the bagel and cream cheese and the cheese danish that seemed so
extra flaky today. A special. She watched the show and sighed, as
always, at the happy and humorous ending, then finished her tea and
readied herself to go to the library. She washed the plate, the knife
and glass and put them on the drain board, brushed her hair and
neatened herself, put on her nice button down sweater, then looked at
her set for another moment then turned it off and left the apartment.
She knew it was too early for mail, but she would check anyway. Who
knows?
    The library was two blocks to the left, but she
automatically turned to the right and was unaware she had turned in
the wrong direction until the girl behind the counter in the bakery
handed her her danish and change, Here you are, Mrs. Goldfarb. Take
care. Thank you dolly. Sara left the bakery trying to believe she
didnt know what was in the bag, but the game didnt last long because
she not only did know what was in the bag, but she couldnt wait to
get it out and eat it.
    But she ate it slowly and with deliberation, just
teensy little nibbles that titillated her palate and enabled her to
make it last all the way to the library. She asked the librarian
where the diet books were. The librarian looked at the bakery bag
Sara was still clutching then escorted her to the section containing
the many diet books. O, so many. I'd lose weight just looking at all
the books. The librarian chuckled, Isnt it pretty to think so. But
dont worry, Im sure we can find just what you want. I hope so. Im
going on the television and I thought maybe I should lose a few
pounds so I look svelte, and Sara rolled her eyes and the librarian
started to laugh then contained it to a chuckle. You dont have to
worry about all these books in this section. This deals with
nutrition and proper diet and health and improper diet and