Free William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back by Ian Doescher Page A

here.
    C-3PO
    [
to Princess Leia:
]—He doth seem full of friendship’s mirth.
    LEIA
    Aye, truly, he seems full of it indeed.
    LANDO
    What brings thee here to Bespin?
    HAN
    —Ship repairs.
    Methought thou couldst some kind assistance grant.
    LANDO
    What hast thou done unto my ship?
    HAN
              —Thy ship?
    Remember thou didst lose her o’er to me
    As fairly as the day is long.
    LANDO
    —And how
    Dost thou, Chewbacca? Hang’st thou still around
    This aging renegade?
    CHEWBAC.
    —Egh!
    LANDO
    [
to Princess Leia:
]          —O, what light
    Doth break upon mine eyes? What beauty’s this?
    I give thee welcome, gentle lady. I
    Am Lando of Calrissian, and do
    Administer this great facility.
    And who, pray tell, art thou? Eh?
    LEIA
    —Leia, I.
    LANDO
    [
kissing her hand:
] Most welcome, Leia.

    HAN
    —Aye, ’tis well, ’tis well.
    Thou ever wert a lover of fair things.
    C-3PO
    C-3PO am I, and at your service…
    [Lando turns his back.
    [
Aside:
] I wonder that I still am talking here:
    Nobody marks me.
    LANDO
    [
to Han:
]          —What doth ail the ship?
    HAN
    The hyperdrive.
    LANDO
    —My people shall begin
    Work on’t immediately. I tell thee,
    That ship in many cases sav’d my life!
    What stories of adventure I could tell
    In which the ship doth play the central part.
    She is the fastest heap of scrap in all
    The galaxy!
    LEIA
    [
aside:
]          —He loveth this old ship
    Almost as much as Han! This love of ships,
    ’Tis like an illness wild within these men.
    HAN
    Now tell me of thy life and bus’ness, friend—
    How doth the gas mine for thee? Doth it pay?
    LANDO
    ’Tis credits in and credits out, but more,
    I fear, of out than in. We are but small,
    An outpost minor. Thus have I supply
    Dilemmas, labor difficulties, too.
    HAN
    Ha, ha!
    LANDO
    —Why say’st thou “Ha”? And wherefore twice?
    HAN
    ’Tis thou. Pray, hearken unto thine own voice.
    So rife with deep responsibility,
    So serious, experienc’d, mature,
    And bus’nesslike. ’Twas not my expectation.
    LANDO
    [
aside:
] O weep, my heart, to see him brings such joy,
    And pains me more to seal his awful fate.
    [
To Han:
] Pray, hear me truly, Han. Whatever else
    May happen, hear these words: this moment doth
    Recall for me our past together, which
    Is sweetness in my memory.
    HAN
    —Indeed.
    ’Tis well to see thee thriving so, my friend.
    LANDO
    And thou hast hit the mark: I duties bear,
    And grave responsibilities are mine.
    ’Tis but the price of one’s success, I s’pose.
    [Exeunt Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, and Lando.
    Enter another
3PO DROID .
    C-3PO
    What joy to see a kind, familiar face.
    DROID
    E chu ta!
    [Exit 3PO droid.
    C-3PO
    —O, how rude! But pray, what’s here?
    [C-3PO enters another room.
    Was that an R2 unit’s sound I heard?
    Is’t possible that R2-D2’s here?
    Hello, who is herein?
    Enter a
SHADOWY FIGURE .
    FIGURE
    —Say, who art thou?
    C-3PO
    Alas, this is my end! An enemy—
    If only I could others tell. O me!
    [Exeunt as C-3PO is shot into pieces.
    Enter
P RINCESS L EIA .
    LEIA
    Time’s passage hath not sooth’d my mind’s distress.
    Full many moments we have waited here
    Within this lovely city in the clouds,
    Yet I am neither rested nor relax’d.
    Foreboding doth creep o’er me like a plague—
    My mind is sore afeard, my hands do shake,
    And nowhere can my troubl’d soul find peace.
    The quick permission given us to land,
    The too-familiar welcome Lando gave,
    A small apartment offer’d for our use—
    It seems as though we were expected here,
    Though how this could have happen’d, I know not.
    For surely when th’Imperi’l fleet broke up,
    We in the opposite direction flew.
    But e’en beyond that worry there is more,
    For though I do not love the prating droid
    C-3PO has not been seen since our
    Arrival here. We have too much of quiet—
    I almost miss his constant chattering.
    Enter
H AN S OLO .
    HAN
    All shall be well. The ship is fix’d