Free 08bis Visions of Sugar Plums by Janet Evanovich

half a block from the employment office and we sat wordlessly staring at the emergency vehicles in front of us. A fire truck, an EMT truck, and four police cars. The windows and the front door to the office were shattered, and a charred chair had been dragged out to the sidewalk.
    We left the car and walked over to a couple cops I recognized. Carl Costanza and Big Dog. They were standing back on their heels, hands resting on their utility belts, surveying the damage with the sort of enthusiasm usually reserved for watching grass grow.
    "What happened?" I asked.
    "Fire. Riot. The usual. It's pretty ugly in there," Carl said.
    "Bodies?"
    "Cookies. Smashed cookies all over the place."
    Big Dog had an elf ear in his hand. He held it up and looked at it. "And these things."
    "It's an elf ear," I said.
    "Yeah. These ears are all that's left of the little buggers."
    "Did they burn?" I asked.
    "No. They ran," Carl said. "Who would have thought the little guys could run that fast? Couldn't catch a single one of them. We arrived on the scene, and they took off like roaches when the light goes on."
    "How did the fire get started?"
    Carl shrugged and looked up at Diesel. "Who's he?"
    "Diesel."
    "Does Joe know about him?"
    "Diesel is from out of town." Way out. "We're working a skip together."
    There wasn't anything more to be learned from the employment office, so we left Carl and Big Dog and returned to the car. The sun was shining some place other than Trenton. Streetlights were on. And the temperature had dropped by ten degrees. My feet were wet from slogging through two fire scenes and my nose was numb, frozen like a popsicle.
    "Take me home," I said to Diesel. "I'm done."
    "What? No shopping? No Christmas cheer? Are you going to let your sister beat you out in the present race?"
    "I'll shop tomorrow. I swear I will."
     
----
     
    Diesel parked the Jag in my apartment building parking lot and got out of the car.
    "It's not necessary to see me to the door," I said. "I imagine you want to get back to the Ring search."
    "Nope. I'm done for the day. I thought we'd have something to eat and then chill in front of the TV."
    I was momentarily speechless. That wasn't the evening I had planned out in my mind. I was going to stand in a scalding hot shower until I was all wrinkly. Then I was going to make myself a peanut butter and marshmallow Fluff sandwich. I like peanut butter and Fluff because it combines the main course with the dessert and it doesn't involve pots. Maybe I'd watch some television after dinner. And if I was lucky I'd be watching it with Morelli.
    "That sounds great," I said, "but I have plans for tonight. Maybe some other time."
    "What are your plans?"
    "I'm seeing Morelli."
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yes," No. I wasn't sure. I figured the possibility was about fifty percent. "And I wanted to take a shower."
    "Hey, you can take a shower while I make dinner."
    "You can cook?"
    "No," he said. "I can dial."
    "Okay, so here's the thing, I don't feel entirely comfortable with you in my apartment."
    "I thought you were getting used to the Super Diesel thing."
    Old Mr. Feinstein shuffled past us on his way to his car. "Hey, chicky," he said to me. "How's it going? You need any help here? This guy looks shifty."
    "I'm fine," I told Mr. Feinstein. "Thanks for the offer, though."
    "See that," I said to Diesel. "You look shifty."
    "I'm a pussycat," Diesel said. "I haven't even come on to you. Okay, maybe a little teasing, but nothing serious. I haven't grabbed you... like this." He wrapped his fingers around my jacket lapels and pulled me to him. "And I haven't kissed you... like this." And he kissed me.
    My toes curled in my shoes. And heat slashed through my stomach and headed south.
    Damn.
    He broke from the kiss and smiled down at me. "It isn't as if I've done anything like that, right?"
    I gave him a two-handed shot to the chest, but he didn't budge, so I took a step back. "There will be no kissing, no fooling around, no