Free One Chance by Paul Potts Page A

in other words, a building. It still had a mast, but this was for ceremonial purposes and parades.
    Sea Cadets meant lots of “spit and polish,” with John and me spending hours getting our hobnail boots reflecting like mirrors and our brass buckles shining like gold. Tuesday was cleaning day, and we would wear our No. 2 dress blue shirt and trousers. Friday was parade day, which meant wearing No.1s: full sailor’s rig jacket, bell-bottoms, lanyard, and collar, complete with white cap. Our outfits always drew a lot of attention when John and I got on the bus.
    I had to work hard for my seamanship badge, as I wasn’t that good at rope work. I found knots quite difficult, apart from the basic reef knot I had learned in cubs. But I persevered and eventually got my badge. This meant I was eligible to get my leading seaman’s badge once I had passed the “at sea” course. The course involved a trip to Weymouth and a trip on an MFV, a merchant fishing vessel of Second World War vintage. Theintention was to sail across the channel to Alderney and Jersey; we would all take turns to both steer the ship and look out for fishing buoys, which could get snagged in the ship’s propellers.
    When the time came for the trip, the seas were rough with force-seven gales. This meant that our journey to the Channel Islands would not happen. Our ship went up and down like a small bucket, which led to some cases of sea sickness. I wasn’t bothered by the motion, being the only one of the Potts children who suffered no motion sickness. I found it quite amusing how the others were retching over the side.
    I was fifteen at the time of the trip, and was going through the worst of the bullying at school. It was a five-day trip, and there were twelve boys on the course. Amongst the civilian helpers was a former Royal Navy captain from our unit, a man called Mr. Burton-Barri. I was one of the first to rise in the morning, and I always found Mr. Burton-Barri sitting in front of my bunk, watching me intently. He would say nothing except for a moody “morning.” Mr. Burton-Barri was average height with greying hair and a similarly greying beard. He looked every bit the salty sea dog. Initially I thought nothing of his gazing, and assumed he was just waking himself up.
    At the time, I had started smoking cigarettes sporadically, although I hadn’t formed a habit. I didn’t really inhale fully, and wasn’t really sure why I had started other than the fact that John was smoking. On the trip, Mr. Burton-Barri started giving me a few cigarettes to smoke, which I saw as harmless, although I did notice that he only gave them to me. Over the next few days, he gave me so many cigarettes that it gave me a headache, and I stopped smoking as a result.
    What I didn’t notice, even though all the signals were there, was that I was being groomed. At the end of the week, Mr. Burton-Barri asked me if I would stay on for the day at the unit and help give the place a spring cleaning. For some reason, I didn’t even react when Mr. Burton-Barri told me he had been warned about getting too involved with cadets. I should have walked away, but instead I was sucked into allowing him access to me that was both inappropriate and abusive.
    It started with Mr. Burton-Barri sitting me on his knee in his office. I didn’t know what was happening, or why it was happening. I just felt paralysed. Nobody saw, as it was only the two of us in the unit at the time. While he had me on his knee, he made a suggestive comment about having seen me get out of bed on the ship and thinking that I was excited around other boys. Then he kissed me on the lips. It didn’t stop there. He found excuses to have me visit the uniform store, and there he kissed and touched me inappropriately. He touched my thighs and between my legs, grabbing my genitals but not getting the reaction he was looking for.
    I never responded, physically or