Free Exposed: A Novel by Ashley Weis

truth, even though I regretted it.
    As I climbed the stairs to bed I thought about Sean and the one hundred what ifs that went along with him. But for some reason, I knew I couldn’t fall asleep in another bed. Wishing I were callous to the pain, I stared at the ceiling as I reclined into my pillow. Ensnared by my own marriage.

Chapter 12 Taylor
    I went to the library to learn about Chlamydia. That’s when I realized it could cause infertility. I sighed, relieved. One less thing to worry about.
    I left the library, bought a hot dog drenched in nacho cheese from 7-eleven, and sat in my car, picking apart the hot dog and barely eating it. Chlamydia didn’t seem so glamorous, so worth the money. But maybe I wouldn’t get it again.
    Disgusted, I tossed the hot dog in the plastic 7-eleven bag and looked at the radio. I remembered the day I left Walgreens, belting my happy heart out to Aerosmith. Now, my radio hadn’t been turned on for weeks. My heart wanted nothing to do with music. It reminded me of Daddy, of my lonely high school years and my insatiable desire to be someone. To leave a mark in the world.
    I drove away from 7-eleven, thinking about my mark. Porn. Blood. Chlamydia. Cola. Money. Yeah, some mark.
    This life seemed so light, so easy, so undeniably easy.
    “What can you give me?” I said to the chill in my car, hoping Sadie would answer.
    She did. Her words floated on the coolness in my car, landing on my heart and soothing my worries. Her icy presence had a way of reassuring me, of making me follow her toward another life, a life she promised to be better. “You will be someone,” she said. “You just have to get through the hard parts first. This life can be great. You will be sexy, wanted, and rich.”
    “Okay,” I said. “I’ll ride this rollercoaster to the end.”
    There had to be something better at the end. I mean, that’s what rollercoaster’s do. They go up and down, thrill you, terrify you, wrap your hair around your face so you can barely see, and then they end. And you feel better for having chosen to ride. You realize if you had left the park without riding, you would’ve regretted it.
    They teach you that you can handle so much more than you think, and at the end, it’s worth it.

Chapter 13 Ally
    I walked into Mom’s house. Burnt bacon filled my nose. Must’ve learned that from her, I thought. Always rushing around, never doing anything with one hundred percent of me. Maybe that’s how I treated my marriage. I walked through the living room and into the kitchen. No one. I walked halfway down the basement steps. “Mom?”
    The Price is Right played around the corner.
    Mom walked to the bottom of the steps with a basket of clothes on her hip and an old burp cloth turned rag on her shoulder. She smiled. “How was your date with Jessie?”
    “Good.” I lied. Again. “Rushed breakfast?”
    She laughed and winked. “Can you tell?”
    Mom walked upstairs behind me. Pictures scaled the wall next to the stairs, filled with so much joy it hurt. Even after all Dad did to Mom—to me—I couldn’t help but wish he would’ve stayed. Maybe he left to be with another woman.
    I stopped and looked at a photograph so alive it could almost breathe. My wedding day. Smiles painted brighter than film could capture. I ran my fingertips along the frame. Blinded. I was so blinded back then.
    “You okay?” Mom said.
    I nodded and walked upstairs.
    “Something on your mind?” she said as I followed her into the kitchen. “Hey, how about some crab cakes?”
    I rested my elbows on the counter and sighed.
    “You can talk to me, you know.”
    “Yes, I know.”
    “Speaking of which, there’s something I need to tell you.” She walked into the dining room and sat down. “Sit.”
    I obeyed. “Mom, you don’t need to. I’m just tired that’s all. We don’t need to bring up the past again.”
    She played with fake sunflowers in the centerpiece. “I think you—”
    “Mom, I found porn on