Free Mad About the Hatter by Dakota Chase

so happens that I was sent to fetch you back to the Red Queen for the express purpose of getting rid of you.”
    It wasn’t a lie, after all. Not exactly. He just left out the fact that when she did rid Wonderland of Henry, he would be in two distinct pieces.
    Henry frowned. “Alice used to talk about the Red Queen. She didn’t seem to care much for her.”
    “No one did. I’m afraid your sister was a bit of a nuisance.”
    “I meant my sister didn’t care for the Red Queen. Alice said she was crazy.”
    Hatter gasped, and his eyes grew wide. He slapped his hand over Henry’s mouth. He lowered his voice into a hoarse hiss. “Shh! Her spies are everywhere. Never speak ill of the Queen aloud while out in the open where you can be easily overheard!”
    Henry peeled Hatter’s hand off. “She’s not my Queen.”
    “While you’re in Wonderland, she is. She’s the ultimate authority here, her only rival being her sister, the White Queen. She can lock you away until you’re so old you trip over your own beard, or starve you until you’re nothing but bone and sinew, or cover you in honey and feed you to a Bandersnatch.” Not to mention lop off his head, but since that’s what actually lay in store for Henry, Hatter thought it would be gauche to mention it. Why ruin the surprise?
    “The White Queen? What about her, then? Would she send me home? Perhaps we can go to her instead.”
    “Can’t.”
    “Why not?”
    “The Red Queen had her head chopped off soon after Alice left the last time. The White King’s head rolled as well.”
    Henry gulped and grabbed his neck as if to keep his own head from rolling. “Her own sister and brother-in-law? As much as I detest mine sometimes, I’d never try to decapitate Alice. That’s awful!”
    Hatter shrugged a shoulder. “No, that’s politics. It caused quite the scandal, as I recall. The two queens met on the same chessboard your sister won her crown on, both accusing the other of aiding and abetting Alice on her quest to become a Queen of Wonderland. The gauntlet was thrown down.” Hatter sighed. “One would think after spending a lifetime as a blood relation of the Red Queen, the White Queen would’ve known how badly she cheats and been prepared for it. But no, the White Queen rather stupidly tried to play according to the rules.” Hatter made a slicing motion with one finger across his throat. “And well, in the end, off came her and her husband’s heads.”
    “You make it sound like she was wrong to want to play by the rules. Rules bring order. You said so yourself.”
    Hatter raised the volume of his voice, as if wanting anyone eavesdropping on their conversation to better hear him. “Yes, I did, of course. The Red Queen has ordered everyone to obey the rules. Very wise of her.” Hatter looked about, and lowered his voice to a whisper again. “But what fun is there in being orderly? None. Rules are merely a fistful of conundrums, obstacles, and barriers knotted and twisted together for the sole purpose of sucking the last bit of fun out of every experience. I should think they’d be riddled with cracks given how many times they’re broken, and if I ever found out which fool keeps pasting them back together, I’d give him a good clobber with my walking stick.”
    Henry gave his head a shake. “Without rules, there’d be chaos!”
    “No, no. Without rules, there’d be freedom.”
    “Not a half hour ago, when I was small, you stood there and told me rules were meant to be followed at all costs!”
    “I believe my exact words were, ‘so sayeth the Queen.’ That doesn’t mean I believe it.”
    “You know what? You’re nuts, and I think I’ll be better off on my own.” Henry lifted his chin and began walking off in a different direction, as if he knew where he was going. “I’ll find my own way home, no thanks to you.”
    Hatter knew very well Henry wouldn’t last half a day in Wonderland without him. Nor would he last half a day if he