Free Sanctuary by Alan Janney

frying pan forgotten. “And I’m still not over it. Even though we weren’t great friends.”
    “Yeah but you were there,” I said. “You saw it. That’s one of those things that gets inside us and makes us who we are. Permanently.”
    “Sometimes I think it doesn’t seem fair, that I made it out and she didn’t. You know? I’m sure her parents feel that way.”
    “No they don’t,” I objected. In my mind’s eye I could see the whole thing in startling clarity. During that awful night, Katie had been brave and tried to survive, while Hannah waited in her car and complained. A lot of people freeze in times of danger; not Katie. She’d been amazing. “I spoke with them several times. They know. Hannah chose to wait in a lake of gasoline. You didn’t.”
    “It’s not my fault,” she said, wiping her eyes and offering me a half smile. “I know that. I tell myself that several times a day. It wasn’t my fault. But still…”
    Samantha returned from wherever it was Samantha always went. I wanted to ask her a million questions about Croc but I couldn’t because Katie was with us. Then Dad came in and we all ate together. Dad and I usually eat at the television but this was better. We talked and laughed like a family is supposed to. Even Samantha enjoyed herself.
    For dessert, Katie laid chocolate cake on the table. Samantha and I ate it all. Infected are drawn to chocolate. I don’t know why.
    Later that night, Katie and I were alone on the couch. We were under the same blanket and she was leaning against me. The lights were off and the Dodgers were beating the Braves on the television. I must have fallen asleep because I didn’t remember Samantha and Dad leaving.
    “We’re alone,” I observed quietly. She tilted her head back so she could look up at me. Her thick brown hair tickled my neck.
    “Yes,” she said. The light from the television was suspended in her eyes.
    “As it should be.”
    She smiled. “Remember when we were just little kids?”
    “That was a lifetime ago.”
    “Do you still love me?” she whispered.
    “Always.”
    “Why? I’m dating your arch rival.”
    “I love you in spite of your glaring faults.”
    “Hey,” she snickered and pinched me. “But. But what if everything changes?”
    “What do you mean?”
    “High school girls are lonely. Even me. We just are,” she said. Her hand under the blanket was stroking my leg. “A lot of my world is built around you. What if…all this changes…and we aren’t friends anymore? I would have nothing.”
    “As long as I live, I will be at least your friend.”
    “You don’t know that.”
    “Think about it,” I smiled. “You’re dating someone that would honestly kill me if he had the chance. What other more terrible thing could you do? How could you drive me away?”
    She smiled. Her lips were very close to mine.
    “You shouldn’t be with him,” I said. “You have to know that.”
    “Chase Jackson. Are you going to pretend,” she asked, “that you’ve never been conflicted romantically? About whom to date?”
    Very clear memories surfaced. Of me. Being in love with Katie last fall. But dating Hannah. While sneaking off to Natalie North rendezvous. I was in no position to judge. “I will not pretend that.”
    “Good.”
    “Good.”
    “Want to know a secret?” she asked, a twinkle in her eyes.
    “Please.”
    “I’m jealous of Samantha.” Her cheeks colored a little. “She gets to sleep here and I don’t.”
    “That’s cute.”
    “I’m so jealous I can barely speak to her. Even though I really like Samantha.”
    “Would you like to sleep over too?” I winked.
    “Yes. But. Mamá would kill me. And I have a boyfriend.”
    “What a confusing scrum we have.”

Chapter Six
Tuesday, August 25. 2018
    School began. I was a senior now and the pristine hallways were full of tiny people staring at me. Somehow, due to the mysterious forces at work in high schools, I’d become popular. People I never met were