Free Lenin's Kisses by Yan Lianke Page B

pool.
    When Chief Liu heard the sound of the white liquid pouring through the clouds, his face immediately turned scarlet. He proceeded to fire even faster while continuing to make a thorough 9 bang ing sound. Eventually, the sun reappeared, and the silvery white liquid turned golden yellow, creating a golden yellow world.
    “Chief Liu, the sky has cleared up,” Secretary Shi remarked as he approached from behind, rubbing his sleepy eyes. “As you were firing toward the east, the sky cleared up and the sun came out.”
    “How would the sun dare not to come out?” Chief Liu turned around and, grinning happily like a general who had just won a battle, said, “Come here, Secretary Shi. Why don’t you give it a try.”
    Secretary Shi picked up the shovel and, resting it on the courtyard wall, aimed it toward the eastern sky and pulled an imaginary trigger with his right index finger while shouting bang, bang, bang . But even as he was firing and shouting, the clouds moved back toward the center of the sky, once again covering up most of the golden yellow and silvery white pool.
    Secretary Shi said, “I can’t do this.”
    Chief Liu suggested, “Let the township chief give it a try.”
    The township chief walked out of the latrine and quickly tied his pants back up, then he too used the shovel as a gun and aimed it at the eastern mountains. He fired more than ten times, but as he did the clouds reconverged and the silvery white liquid was once again fully covered up.
    The sky was filled with dark clouds.
    Even in the temple courtyard, the air turned humid and steamy.
    Chief Liu patted the township chief on the shoulder and said, “With your skills, I’ll appoint you secretary of tourism after we bring Lenin’s corpse back.” As he took back the shovel, he shifted his position and aimed, then fired it three times. Sure enough, another fissure appeared in the clouds.
    As the gun sounded, the clouds dispersed, and the sun came out again.
    He fired ten or so more shots, and along the ridge of the eastern mountain there appeared a silver mat.
    He fired another ten or so shots, and several gold mats appeared.
    He fired another ten or so shots, and the gold and silver areas grew as large as a wheat field.
    In the blink of an eye, a bright blue sky emerged behind the eastern mountain, and the black clouds that had not yet dispersed became covered by the gold and silver mats. The snow shone brightly in the sunlight. The tree branches poked out in all directions, silver-coated. Throughout the snow-covered fields along the mountain range, there were occasional clumps of wheat sticking out, like thorns piercing through the snow-white bed covering the ground. The air was unusually fresh, and if you took a few breaths and savored them, a distinctive aftertaste would linger in your mouth—and this aftertaste, while initially pleasant, would subsequently become nauseating.
    The entire village was filled with the sound of retching.
    After they finished coughing, these people who had just gotten out of bed all slapped their foreheads.
    The men said, “Ah, the sky has cleared. At least now we can harvest some of the grain and recover somewhat from this natural disaster.”
    The women said, “Ah, the sky has cleared. The mildewed sheets can be hung out to dry. Even during a natural disaster, you shouldn’t let your sheets get moldy.”
    The children said, “Ah, the sky has cleared. The next few days will be great fun. Each day that it snows is another day we can stay in bed and not go to school. Having to go to school is worse than starving to death.”
    There were also some people staring at the temple guest house, who said, “Ah, the county chief arrives and the sky immediately clears up. Even the weather recognizes that he just isn’t like the rest of us.”
    Chief Liu heard these remarks from the other side of the courtyard wall, whereupon he took down the shovel and stuck a fistful of snow into his mouth, which was parched