Free Calendar Girl by Sommer Marsden Page B

Drake and I were no longer married, I loved his mom. Gloria had always been good to me and she was trying to hold her emotions together and I could tell. I gave her a hug. ‘Hang in there, Ma. It’s never fun figuring out who you are and where you’re going,’ I laughed. ‘I mean, it can be fun off and on, but under it all, it’s a learning process.’
    She nodded, wiped her eyes and hugged me tighter as Jeffrey buckled Drake’s bulk into a seatbelt. ‘I’m sorry for all he’s done to you. He’s a mess half the time and happy the other half.’
    ‘Me too,’ I said and squeezed her. ‘But I’m getting there and he will too. And I still love you, Gloria. You’ll always be my other mother.’
    Then she did cry and we held each other for a moment before Drake yelling, ‘Ma! Your carriage awaits!’ over and over again got the better of us.
    The giggles started and Gloria kissed me as her son gracefully beat her passenger window with his giant Italian loafer. ‘I guess I’d better get Godzilla home before he destroys the village.’
    ‘Call me, we’ll do lunch,’ I said and meant it.
    ‘And you call me if you need anything. Anything at all!’
    ‘Ma!’ Drake yelled and I let her go.
    The car drove off and Jeffrey checked his watch just as Shane came out of the house to join us. ‘Wow,’ I said.
    ‘Hell, yeah, wow,’ Jeffrey said. He turned to me and grinned in the chilly dark evening. ‘And now that you’ve wrangled a drunk, had a good cry and gotten some tongue–’
    I made a strangled sound and my cheeks blazed, but good natured, kinky Shane only laughed. ‘What?’ I hissed.
    ‘Now it’s time for a drag show and your brother dancing in a cage.’
    ‘And my mother? Nuh-unh?’ I shook my head. No way.
    He nodded. ‘Yunh-hunh.’
    Shane took my arm. ‘Come on. It’ll be fun.’
    I turned to him, shocked, no matter how handsome and good at oral he might be, he was clueless. ‘Is walking into the lion’s den fun? How about stumbling into a nest of wasps? A flock of jellyfish?’
    ‘I think it’s a bloom,’ Jeffrey said.
    ‘Whatever! He doesn’t know!’ I squeaked.
    ‘Come on, he’ll be fine,’ Jeffrey said and I, stupidly, let the men lead me to the car after we locked up.

Chapter Nine
    ‘W ELCOME TO THE D RUNKEN F LAMINGO , y’all,’ said the woman at the door. The woman at the door was also about six-three, 200 pounds and heart stoppingly beautiful. She made me feel plain Jane and ho-hum and she wasn’t even a she. ‘You’re Cloville’s crew, right?’
    ‘Yep,’ I said.
    The queen leaned in, his milk-white skin flawless, his lips sinful. ‘You’re the table with the purple flamingo on it, doll. Love the wrap top,’ he said and touched my cleavage.
    ‘Love your lips,’ I said and then, ‘Will they come to the table or do we need to hit the bar?’
    ‘Wave your arms in the air like you just don’t care and Bubbles will come and find out what you want.’ He took a special stamp from a holder and stamped my left hand, then Shane’s. CREW it said with a lip print for the E.
    ‘Cloville?’ Shane laughed, leading me to the purple flamingo bedecked table near the stage.
    ‘Cloville Yum-Yum,’ I laughed.
    ‘Wow.’
    ‘Indeed.’
    ‘And did he employ the old–’
    ‘First street, first pet rule? Yep. Cloville Avenue and Yum-Yum the dog.’
    Shane grinned and waved his hands at a humongous, heavy set, completely made up man in pink organza sporting a flamingo pink beehive. ‘Like you just don’t care,’ Shane said to me and I snorted.
    ‘Dolls,’ Bubbles said. ‘What can I get you?’
    ‘An Italian Surfer,’ I said. ‘And for you, Jesus?’
    ‘Wine,’ Shane said and Bubbles laughed like he was the world’s funniest man. Because he was just that hot.
    ‘Right back in the bat of two giant, false, crystal-studded eyelashes,’ Bubbles said and tittered like a tiny girl instead of a stocky middle-aged man in drag.
    ‘Oh!’ I yelled and she turned to me.