Free the Darkest Edge Of Dawn (2010) by Kelly Gay

shrink who deals with forced drug addiction."
    "So?" I sat on the arm of the love seat. "The point is to talk. You used to love to talk. All the time. About anything."
    A snort came from her pale lips, and she scratched her dirty scalp. "Yeah well, that was before I became hooked on ash. "
    "Will you stop it?" I jumped to my feet. "Just stop it. You're on ash because if you don't keep taking it in regulated doses, you'll drop into a coma and die. Just like Amanda and everyone else who survived using the drug in the first place." I paused, trying to sound calm. "A few of them have formed a support group. Why don't you go? Talk. There's a meeting tomorrow. I can take you." I sat back down on the arm of the loveseat. "Doctor Mott is going to figure out a cure, but letting yourself shrivel away like this"--I slid from the arm into the seat--"it's not you."
    My head fell back and I shut my eyelids tightly against the rising tears, repeating that last sentence over again in my head.
    I hated this.
    The frustration made me throw up my hands and give her a defeated look. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry that it was because of me and Emma--"
    "Oh my God. Enough with the guilt routine, Charlie. If you say you're sorry one more time, I might actually vomit." She got up and walked behind the couch, her hands braced on the back. "I knew the risks. I love Emma. I love you. It was my choice to go to that bath house that night, my choice to fight, and I'd do it all over again. Just ... let me deal with this on my own, okay?" Her eyes drifted closed for a moment. Her shoulders lifted and fell tiredly. "I'm tired. Can't you just come back later or some-thing?"
    I stared at the wall for a long second. "Sure." I shook my head, feeling exhausted myself. "I'll bring some groceries in the morning. Before I take you to the meeting."
    "Whatever you want." She shuffled into her dark bedroom and closed the door.
    I left Bryn's apartment, keeping my head down and my gaze averted as I passed the goblin, letting my steps carry me toward the plaza on autopilot, too overwhelmed with worry and frustration to notice much around me, just knowing I had to fix things.
    The despondent aura surrounding her was eating away at her light, her spirit, at everything that had made her Bryn. My sister. The earth mage. The independent business owner. The much-loved aunt.
    I didn't go back into the office. Instead, I got my Tahoe from the back lot of the station and drove down I-85 to the outskirts of the city, to the grounds of Mott Tech.
    The guards at the gatehouse waved me in now that I had a full-clearance badge.
    The complex was Titus Mott's baby--the underground research facility that allowed him to work on all of his off-world and human inventions. After he and his team had discovered the alternate dimensions of Elysia and Charbydon, he'd acquired the massive funding needed to create his scientific empire. But I didn't plan on seeing Titus. Not tonight. I'd been coming here on and off since I'd brought darkness to the city, not even sure why I chose this place of all places to come.
    The cool night air made me pull my jacket closer around me as I got out of my vehicle and headed across the parking lot, grateful that the inside lining was dry and warm. My footsteps shuffled over the flagstone pathway that led through the manicured grounds to the romantic Victorian-style pavilion perched on the edge of a calm lake.
    The breeze was heavy down here, like always. I rounded the grassy edge of the water, coming to the idyllic bridge that spanned the small creek that fed the lake and led to the pavilion. A bench had been placed near the bridge and I sat in my usual spot, on the right side, facing the circular meadow where I'd first called the darkness. Where I'd fed on Mynogan's blood, the blood of an Abaddon elder, killing him.
    The center of it all.
    I didn't know why I kept coming here, envisioning the past, replaying that night over and over in my