Free Kat's Fall by Shelley Hrdlitschka

regular holiday.
    Right.
    “Hop in.”
    I toss my pack into the backseat and climb in.
    “She wants to see you,” he says, pulling back out into traffic.
    “Not a chance.”
    “C’mon, Darcy. Do it for Kat.”
    “Forget it, Dad. I have nothing to say to her.”
    “Listen, Darcy, you might as well get this over with. Kat is enjoying her visits, so I’d say if you don’t make some kind of peace with her, you’re not going to get to see much of Kat.”
    I don’t have an answer for that. I’ve seen how content Kat is when she comes home from visiting her each afternoon. Things are working out for Dad, for Mom and for Kat. Of course, I don’t count. All the years of being there for Kat? Forgotten already.
    Dad’s right, though. I am going to have to go eventually, even if it’s just to pick Kat up or drop her off sometime.
    “All right.” I try to sound resigned, but my heart starts slamming around in my chest. What will she be like? Will I remember her at all?
    Will I feel like killing her?
    A few minutes later Dad pulls up in front of an apartment tower. “Suite #504,” he says.
    “You’re not coming?”
    “No, Darcy. This is something I think you need to face on your own. Besides, Kat’s already there, and so is the parole officer.”
    I look up, counting the floors until I reach the fifth one. Nothing but empty balconies. I’m surprised she’d take another fifth floor apartment.
    “I’ll be back for you in a couple of hours.”
    I find the apartment numbers and a phone on a wall plate beside the front door. Each number has a corresponding name beside it, except for Mom’s. The place for her name has been left blank. I pick up the phone and press in the number. I’d rather be just about anywhere else at this moment, even in the dentist’s chair, having all my teeth removed. Without anesthetic.
    “Hello?”
    “It’s me, Darcy.”
    There’s a pause. “Hi, Darcy.”
    A long beep. The door unlocks. I enter the building and push the button for the elevator.
    She better not get too close to me.
    The elevator doors slide open and I step inside and press the button. The doors shut again and I watch the floor indicator as the compartment climbs past them. Two. Three. Four. I don’t want to be here. Five.
    The door slides open, I step off and then Kat is there, wrapping her arms about me in a huge hug. A flood of emotion overcomes me. I shut my eyes, willing the tears to go back to where they came from.
    I feel Kat’s warm hand in mine, tugging me. “C’mon, Darcy,” she encourages, pulling me down the corridor.
    I allow myself to be led.
    Then I see her, standing in an open doorway at the end of the hall. Ten years melt away in an instant. She’s standing there, cigarette in hand, telling me I can come back now. I’m pushing baby Kat up and down the hallway in her stroller. Mom has a friend over and needs me to keep Kat happy while he’s there. I’m delighted to have the responsibility, jiggling the buggy if she starts to whimper. I’ll get candy later, if I do a good job. When I see her friend leave I can bring Kat back in. It doesn’t take long. It never does. I hope I get Smarties. Or maybe a jawbreaker.
    “Hi, Darcy,” she says when we reach the end of the hallway.
    I’m dropped back into the present with a thud. She’s still standing in the doorway, arms crossed, smoke from her cigarette curling up past her face. She’s smaller than I remember. I glance quickly at her face, but look away. Her eyes are Kat’s eyes, only a million years older and sadder. I just nod. I have no voice.
    “C’mon in,” she says, stepping aside. Her voice sounds a little shaky. She better not start crying. I’m out of here if she does.
    I enter the small apartment, stepping past the tiny kitchen and into the living room. The furniture is old, but the room looks comfortable. A woman who must be the parole officer is sitting in the far corner with a book. She looks up and nods. I nod back and she