Free From The Shadows (From The Shadows #1) by Line F. Nielsen

cheeks I was sure that whatever happiness I felt wouldn’t last.
    I went to the guest room. I found my computer and began recharging it and then I started packing my stuff. I was not going back to Mike. Not now, not ever. But I knew I had to find a place of my own so that when Nathan realized that he was too good for me, I wouldn’t be kicked out because I would have my own refuge.
    Maybe living by myself wouldn’t be that bad. It would be good for me to learn to stand on my own two feet. So I decided that the fact that I didn’t just run back to Mike out of fear for what he might do was still a step forward for me. Even if Nathan wouldn´t want to kick me out, I figured that trying to live on my own might be a good idea.
    I had been sitting on the bed in the guest room for hours listening to music while looking for apartments close to my job and within my budged, when suddenly I looked up because I felt someone was looking at me.
    Nathan was leaning on the door frame with a strange look on his face, so I pulled out my earplugs so I could have a talk with him about what was wrong. But I didn’t get to utter a word before he asked “Where are all your stuff and why are you hanging around in here?”
    I looked down on my bended legs, not sure if I dared to look at him when I told him what I had been doing.
    “I thought I would get it ready so I could leave as soon as I found an apartment”.
    “YOU WHAT?!” He blurted out in a not so sensitive voice.
    I looked up at him then, needing to know what was in his face, and as soon as I did he caught my eyes and walked towards me and I regretted ever looking up.
    “Tell me WHY? Why are you leaving?”
    The tears began streaming down my face and I had a hard time speaking. "Because.. I promised I’d.. be out of your hair in a few days”
    “Nik, a lot has happened since you told me that, so tell me the real reason!” He demanded.
    “Because you’re not going to want me, I’m not good enough for you...” And then even more tears began floating down my cheeks and my frame began shaking.
    “BULLSHIT!” He exclaimed in an angry voice, but then it seemed like he thought better of it and he sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms, hugging me to him.
    “Babe, I am never getting enough of you and I am never letting you go, I told you this!” He took a deep breath to steady himself, I think, and then he asked “Why do you even think that?”
    I wanted to explain it to him, tell him about my constant fear of not being good enough, tell him I had never known better. I wanted to tell him about the texts from Mike, but all that came out was Mike’s name on a hiccup.
    “FOR GODS SAKE” Nathan growled. “this is getting real old real fast!”
    Trying to take deep breaths I finally got the tears to stop, and regained some of my normal breathing, before asking him if it had been Mike throwing the rock in through the window in the living room.
    “I am damn sure it was, yes. I am so FUCKING tired of his behavior and his threats, I swear Nik, if he doesn’t let up soon I am going to the police”.
    “You can’t” I stammered out.
    “Oh you just watch me, no one treats my girl like this!” he exclaimed in a really final voice.
    He then put his finger under my chin to pull my eyes up to his, and then he first kissed both my cheeks, then my forehead and my nose and then he put a soft kiss on my lips. “Nik, babe, I can’t stand seeing him causing you so much pain and self-doubt. I promised myself and you that I would protect you, and that is what I intent to do!”
    He returned to hugging me to him and I made a content sigh as I tried to let go of the fright that had been eating at me for too long. I was not my parents, I was not with Mike and I could change my path, couldn’t I? I certainly hoped that I could, because I wanted things from life. I wanted to find my own path, and I wanted to make myself worthy of Nathan.
     
    I don’t know how long we sat like this