don’t really mind you being a few years older. How old are you, twenty-seven? Twenty-eight? That’s not a very big difference in my opinion.”
He started twirling his wine glass by the stem, looking anywhere but at me. “Thirty-four,” he finally mumbled causing my jaw to drop. I never would have guessed he was eleven years older than me. He looked so much younger. He finally looked up, taking in my open mouth. “Is that going to be a problem?”
Of course it wasn’t a problem. I didn’t have an issue with the age difference, I was just surprised. Jordan made me feel safe. Made me feel things I’d never felt before. It wouldn’t have mattered if he was forty, I would have been an idiot to let a difference in age dictate how I felt about him when he was the only man who had ever been able to get past my defenses.
I closed my mouth and a smile easily spread across my face. He was kind of adorable when he was nervous. “Absolutely not.” I responded and he graced me with that dimpled smile.
He blew out a relieved breath and grabbed my hand again, setting off a spark with his touch. “Thank Christ, because I have to tell you, I don’t know if I’d have been able to let you go even if you couldn’t deal with it. I know it sounds like a total cliché, but there’s something about you. I need to know you. And I swear I’m not just saying that to get laid.”
Warmth pooled in my belly at his words. “I feel the same,” I admitted shyly.
Our waiter chose to return with our dinner right then, pulling us out of the moment and bursting the private little bubble we had been in. The sounds of the restaurant came back full force and I glanced around, taking in all the people surrounding me. There wasn’t an empty table in sight. The wait staff bustled about, diners talked and laughed. It was the perfect setting to be bombarded with visions and it was absolutely stifling.
“Enjoy your meal,” the waiter said before going to check on another table.
The air started to feel thicker with every passing second and my vision was becoming blurry. Dark shadows began creeping in from the outer edges threatening to envelope everything in darkness.
Why did this always have to happen? Why couldn’t I just be normal for one fucking night? I was on a date with a man that I really liked and I couldn’t even enjoy myself. I hated my life.
I stood from the table and excused myself to the restroom, hoping that a few minutes alone would help me to calm myself down. “I’ll be right back. I just have to go to the ladies room.”
The concern from earlier returned to Jordan’s face when he stood with me. Breathing was becoming more difficult with each passing second and an uncontrollable sweat had broken out on my skin. Just a few more steps and I could close myself in a stall and get myself together. Just a few more steps and I would be able to freak out in private.
I didn’t make it.
The sound of dishes crashing to the floor sent my panic attack into overdrive. As the glass broke on the ground, I hunched down and covered my ears as I let out a scream. My body started trembling and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Before I could even register what was happening, I felt myself being lifted up and carried through the restaurant only to have the cool, night air hit my face moments later causing me to shake even harder.
Jordan didn’t put my feet on the ground until we made it to the valet. He reached for the parking slip and quickly handed it over before turning back to me. He hunched down so we were at eye level and placed his hands on my cheeks. “Are you okay? Should I take you to the hospital or something?” he asked in a panic. “Tell me how I can help, Taylor.” he asked. His eyes were wide and some of the color had washed from his complexion. He looked so worried that I couldn’t stop the tears that started running down my cheeks. My first date ever and it was an epic fail. I didn’t think there was a