chance for there to be a worse date in the history of dates.
The shaking had started to subside and the panic quickly became overshadowed by utter humiliation. I sniffled and tried to stop my tears as I nodded my head slightly.
“You sure?” His hands slid from my cheeks and came to rest gently on the sides of my neck.
“Yes,” I said past the lump that had formed in my throat.
I wasn’t sure whether he believed me or not, but he dropped his hands from my neck and stood to his full height. “Okay, I’ll be right back. I promise.”
He turned and headed back into the restaurant, instantly being swallowed up in the sea of people as I stood there alone. I waited for the valet to come back with Jordan’s car feeling like I’d just ruined the only chance I’d ever have at something normal. Another shiver passed through my body—an after effect of the panic attack—just as Jordan walked back out onto the sidewalk. He walked up beside me and removed his suit jacket, placing it over my shoulders. “Here, you’re still shaking.” He pulled the lapels close together and began rubbing the sides of my arms in an effort to warm me up. His gentleness was almost too much to handle and a few more rogue tears escaped and made tracks down my cheeks.
We just stood in silence as we waited as the valet pulled Jordan’s car around. He opened the door and helped me in then tipped the man before making his way around the front to the driver side. We both remained silent as Jordan navigated his way through traffic. I couldn’t help but soak in the crushing sorrow that was threatening to swallow me as I thought about how this was probably going to be the last time I would ever see Jordan. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, I was never going to be normal.
“I’m sorry,” I finally whispered in defeat.
Jordan
I felt like such an asshole. Judging by her shaking hands and her unsteady breathing, the woman that was sitting in the car next to me just experienced something that must have been terrifying for her and because I was the jackass who didn’t stop to see if she had a problem, she got to experience it in front of a hundred people.
And to top it all off, she apologized.
To me.
I was the one that should have apologized, but I’d been wracking my brain trying to come up with something I could say to make her feel better. I had clearly taken too long and she probably thought I was pissed at having to bail out on dinner early. She couldn’t have been more wrong.
I took my eyes off the road for a second to glance over at her and the sight tore at my heart. She sat wrapped in my jacket with her shoulders slumped down and her gorgeous hair obstructing my view of her face. I wanted to pull the car over just so I could pull her into my lap and wrap my arms around her. The pain she was feeling was evident in how she held herself. I needed to know who the hell put it there so I could beat the ever-loving shit out of them.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I finally replied.
Her voice was so low I barely heard her over the sounds of the engine. “I ruined our date.”
I couldn’t handle not seeing her face so I reached across the console and put my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me. “Hey,” I said gently. “You didn’t ruin anything. When you told me you were uncomfortable in crowded places I should have gotten you out of there. I knew something was wrong and I shouldn’t have ignored it.”
She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. “This is why I’ve never dated.”
That shocked me. I knew she was speaking more to herself that to me but I had to ask. “What do you mean, never dated?” I questioned. “Like, you hardly go on dates or you’ve never been on one before tonight?”
She blushed, and seeing it did what it always does, it made me want to kiss her. “This was supposed to be my first date,” she replied and I could hear the embarrassment in her voice.
“I find that