Free Let Love Live (The Love Series #5) by Melissa Collins

you let me in before?” I asked when the tension reached a breaking point.
    He chuckled a snide puff of laughter. He leveled me with his gaze, crossing his arms across his chest. “The better question is why haven’t you let me in?”
    In that instant, I choked on my words. “I– I mean… I have… I thought… I didn’t mean…” I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying desperately to grasp onto something that I could say to save this.
    To save us.
    I took a deep breath. “No. You’re right. I haven’t let you in.” Dylan continued to stare at me, obviously needing more than a one-sentence explanation as to why I’ve been reluctant to name this thing between us.
    “Not gonna get off the hook that easily, huh?” He shook his head, and even though he tried to hide it, I saw him crack the tiniest of smiles. “Okay, then. Here goes.” I stood from the chair and paced the room, hoping the words would somehow magically appear if I moved.
    Raking my hands through my hair, I pulled on the ends, more than frustrated at my own feelings. “I know you’re pissed about what you saw with Sammy before.” He laughed and I walked toward him. “Just listen, please.” He looked up with me with his big blue eyes and my chest hurt at seeing the anger there. I sank to the floor in front of him, pulling his hands into mine.
    “This last month hasn’t been easy for me. You’ve forced me to face things that I’ve kept hidden about myself for a long fucking time, forever, it feels like. It scares the fucking shit out of me, but when I’m with you…” My words trailed off and I sank back on my calves, angling away from him a little.
    “You’re what?” His words were barely above a whisper and his hands flew in the air, tossing mine to the side.
    “When I’m with you, I’m not… I’m not scared. I’m not worried.” Even though they were shaking, I grabbed for his hands again, lacing our fingers together as they rested on his thighs. “The truth is that when I’m with you,” I sat up again, wiggling my way in-between his legs and laced my arms around his waist. Pressing my cheek up against his warm, solid chest, I whispered, “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”
    “You’re happy sneaking around?” He arched an eyebrow.
    I shook my head, trying to shake away a world of troubles. It didn’t work. “No. I’m not happy sneaking around and I know I’ve kept you at arm’s length, but it’s just too much.”
    Dylan rested his chin on top of my head and squeezed me tightly as he released a deep exhale. I felt his body relax against me as he pressed his lips to my hair. “I’m happy, too.” I moved from the floor to his side on the bed, angling toward him. “Why haven’t you told me this before, though?” Dylan asked.
    “I don’t know. I mean, this is a lot to take in.”
    “It’s been almost a month.” His words took on a frustrated tone.
    “Yeah, I know. We’ve been together a few weeks, but you’ve known you’re gay for far longer than that. You’ve had time to work it all out in your head.”
    “Yeah, right. You think I have this all figured out?” He shot up from the bed, clearly frustrated, his arms flailing to the side. “I don’t have shit figured out!” Silently, he stood brooding in front of his window. I waited a minute before I walked over to him, wrapped my arms around him from behind. His body tensed and it put me on guard.
    “Is this okay?” I asked nervously, not sure if I was crossing a line that hadn’t yet been mended. He turned around in the circle of my arms and since we were roughly the same height our lips were near touching.
    His eyes softened as the tension simply vanished. “Of course it’s okay. It’s what I want. I wish you would make the first move every now and then. I feel like you don’t want this.”
    I paused, hoping my words would convey the emotion I was feeling. “No. I want this. I’m just trying to figure out what it all means, how it changes