Free The Peppermint Pig by Nina Bawden

shame to cut into lovely material but she had a good piece of grey washing silk upstairs, and if Miss Mantripp would like a blouse she would only charge her a shilling to make it.
    The old woman looked pleased. ‘That would be very nice, Mrs Greengrass. To tell you the truth, I only brought you the lace because I thought you could do with the work, but it would really have broken my heart to see it cut into.’
    She beamed at them all very sweetly and graciously and Mother said, with a catch in her voice that was either held-back laughter or tears, ‘You’re very kind, Miss Mantripp. Would you care to stay and have tea with us?’
    ‘I wouldn’t want to intrude, Mrs Greengrass.’
    ‘It’s no intrusion, Miss Mantripp. We would all be delighted.’
    Mother put the best damask cloth on the table, eggs to boil on the hob, and cut thin bread and butter. Miss Mantripp sat primly at table, huge hat bobbingslightly as she made polite conversation. ‘Have you settled in comfortably Mrs Greengrass? The cottages are very small, are they not? Although I suppose it depends what you’re used to. After all the years I spent with her Ladyship I find it most strange to have no indoor sanitation. The arrangements here are most upsetting to a refined person. Each outside privy backing on to the one that belongs to the cottage next door! I am sure that you find it as distressing as I do, Mrs Greengrass?’
    ‘Well,’ Mother began, doubtfully smiling. ‘I’m not really sure what you mean.’
    ‘People sitting back to back,’ Miss Mantripp explained in low, horrified tones. ‘Back to back and – NO RELATION!’
    Theo, who was ladling eggs out of the saucepan, gave a strangled cry and dropped one. He said, ‘Oh Mother, I’m sorry.’ His face was scarlet, not because of the dropped egg, but with the struggle to prevent himself laughing.
    Mother said, ‘Never mind, Theo. Johnnie will clear up the egg.’ Her voice was almost natural but the wild smile she swept in Miss Mantripp’s direction was not. She turned it into a gasping laugh and said, ‘So useful having a pig in the house! It saves so much bending.’
    Theo said, ‘I’ll put another egg on to boil.’
    ‘No thank you, Theo…’ But he had already vanished into the scullery, closing the door afterhim. Mother said, ‘Drat the boy. Poll, go and tell him there’s no need to bother. I don’t really want an egg.’ Then, as Poll got down from the table, she added, ‘Make sure you tell him that, won’t you?’ speaking emphatically as if this was a very important message Poll had to deliver.
    ‘Yes, I’ll tell him,’ Poll said.
    Theo was leaning against the wall in the larder, wiping his streaming eyes. ‘I thought I’d die laughing,’ he said. ‘I expect I will die, next time I sit on the privy! Of course we sit back to back with our aunts so I suppose she would think that wasn’t so dreadful since they’re our relations. Though I’m not sure it’s not worse. Can you imagine Aunt Sarah…’
    ‘Don’t be rude,’ Poll said coldly.
    Theo pulled a face. ‘I didn’t start it… There’s no more eggs in the bowl. Mother better have mine.’
    ‘She doesn’t want one. She told me to tell you.’
    ‘But that’s silly. It was me broke the egg. So it’s only fair…’
    Poll said, ‘ No .’
    Theo looked at her. ‘What’s up?’
    She said slowly, ‘I don’t think Mother would like that. You making a fuss over who was to have the last egg. I expect there aren’t any more because she could only afford to buy half a dozen. But she wouldn’t want Miss Mantripp to know that because she might feel bad, being a visitor.’
    Theo shrugged his shoulders. ‘If you say so. But it seems a bit daft. She’s daft, isn’t she? Going on like that about privies. At the tea table ! I really don’t think I can sit there, eating an egg, she’ll just start me off again, laughing.’
    ‘Don’t be so mean!’ Poll felt very sad, suddenly, she wasn’t sure why. A