Free Secrets of My Hollywood Life: Family Affairs by Jen Calonita

the big guy is a teddy bear when it comes to me.
    “It was an accident,” I remind him, thinking of the event last week when Larry the Liar tripped over the rope and smashed his Nikon D50 into my right cheek. The bluish-purple bruise has finally gone down; Shelly had a nasty time covering it with concealer.
    Suddenly I see someone walk out of a Craftsman-style bungalow at the edge of the parking lot. At first I think they’re just leaving their house, but what’s a home doing in a parking lot? Then I see two more people, dressed fabulously, exit with take-out bags. That’s it! “I remember where we go in,” I say excitedly. “It’s that building over there!”
    “I was beginning to worry we wouldn’t get to have any of those lemon cupcakes you rhapsodized about the whole way over,” Liz’s boyfriend, Josh, jokes. Even in a loose blue silk shirt, you can make out Josh’s defined upper body muscles.
    He’sakickboxer, just like Liz, and the two met several months ago, around the same time I met Austin. I love that the four of us double-date. It’s so adult.
    “You shouldn’t have worried,” Austin says, his mouth twitching. “The Burke name guarantees the presence of the paparazzi and admission to any venue.” He winks at me.
    I break into a huge grin. Austin loves teasing me about the perks of fame. And okay, I can admit it. Sometimes it really is fun being me.
    With the four of us behind him, Rodney walks us to the valet, who is guarding a long line of pretty people. How did we miss this crowd? Rodney whispers my name to the valet who turns and whispers it to a harried guy with a clipboard and the door opens to let us inside. People groan as we walk past them.
    “Have fun! Make sure you bring me a cupcake!” Rodney calls after us. “Or two!”
    A super-skinny hostess with a cute bob leads us past the gorgeous, modern lounge with rock walls and black leather booths, and onto the patio, where an old French film is being projected on the wall. A fountain bubbles in the middle of several couches and ottomans; trees and bushes dot the serene landscape. The girl seats us at a private set of leather couches and wordlessly hands us each a menu. “I’ll be back for your drink order,” she says before walking over to the outdoor bar.
    Salivating, I quickly scan the eats. The Italian menu looks delish, but I can’t help reading about the desserts first. Red velvet, lemon, carrot-pecan, and vanilla cupcakes . . . ahhh. I want to order them all. As I settle into the comfy couch, I feel my achy shoulders start to relax. I happily peek over my menu and stare at my boyfriend.
    Austin’s blond mop of hair is hanging over his turquoise eyes. As usual, he looks like he just walked out of an American Eagle ad. He’s wearing a button-down polo and dark brown khakis.
    “What’s on your mind, Burke?” he asks without looking up. I blush madly. He’s caught me staring at him. Again.
    “Nothing ,” I reply. “I’m just so happy to see all of you. It’s been such a loooonnnnnggg week without you guys.” After
PYA
wrapped, I had two blissful weeks off and the four of us hung out 24
/
7. After
FA
started back up, we hung out at night or they’d come by the set (I love showing off my boyfriend!), but now that school has started again, everyone’s schedules are all over the map and we’re limited to getting together on weekends. It’s so depressing.
    Liz’s smile turns into a yawn. “We missed you too,” she mumbles sleepily. “Especially when we were sitting in American history and Mrs. Watson was droning on about our gazillion-page textbook,
The American Nation
.”
    “We have to read the second chapter on prehistory to the eighteen hundreds and write a short essay by Monday about the most trying time for settlers in the English colonies,” complains Austin. “I wish I could rewind three weeks and be back at your house, lying by the pool.”
    “Me too,” Liz chimes in, resting her hands under her